Saturday, December 26, 2015

The Bittersweet End of an Era

Ode to Spencer Nursing
Spencer's nursing journey, over 4 years

Having nursed Sasha during Spencer's labor, which brought his birth on fast...
Having nursed him through his stay in the NICU...
and the slow cutting of those first sharp teeth at 12 months...
Having nursed him through his diagnosis of having a hyperactive thyroid...
as well as his Celiac diagnosis and resulting diet change for us both...
Having nursed him even while he explored new foods, through medical procedures and to help calm him after surgeries...

I nursed Spencer for 4 years. When he wakes up tomorrow, he will be 4 years old. And officially weaned. The last time he nursed was after his dental surgery earlier this month (seen in recovery in the bottom right photo). I knew it was coming, but I've been second guessing myself. He had dropped down to only asking for "Momma Milk" every few days. I was so glad to have it for him when he woke from surgery. I'm admittedly fearful of how we'll manage the next surgery sometime down the road. Spencer is my last child, so this is all behind me now. I nursed for a total of 10 years, tandem nursing for one of those!

Breastfeeding at 2 Months
2 month old Sasha at my breast, swaddled

As a mother, I done good. I was feeling ready. But now that it's done, I don't feel so ready anymore. This is the bittersweet end of an era for me...


  1. How I am I just seeing this?!? You made me cry. My 10 year breastfeeding journey ended last September and I still feel sad...and happy.
    You are an amazing momma with several amazing kids <3

    1. Aww, thanks. It really had a bigger impact on me than I realized at the time and I fell into a depression. I think I lost a part of my identity when my nursing era ended. But thankfully, with some new focus on ME, making my own health a priority, I've climbed out of that mess. <3

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