In Crowd or Outcast, March to Your Own Beat

Welcome to the March 2013 Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival: Self-Expression and Conformity

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival hosted by Authentic Parenting and Living Peacefully with Children. This month our participants have written about authenticity through self-expression. We hope you enjoy this month's posts and consider joining us next month when we share about Peaceful Parenting Applied.

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I moved about once per year as a kid. I didn't move to new towns, just new neighborhoods and schools. I made friends fast or I wouldn't have made friends at all. That said, and I'm not sure what it was about my childhood or if it was perhaps just my personality, but I always strove to be different. I was never popular and rarely made efforts to conform.

Actually, I think I occasionally did things to conform to my own clique of friends. I remember my year at Monte Cassino Catholic School that it was cool to wear your socks scrunched down. At All Saints Diocesan School we wore Keds, but they could not be new white! I remember kicking dirt onto new shoes. Man, we do some weird stuff as kids to fit in, don't we? My mom was so mad at me for messing up my new shoes!

Photo Credit: alessandra luvisotto

Self Image has to Come from Within

Welcome to the October 2012 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Instilling a Healthy Self-Image

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared confessions, wisdom, and goals for helping children love who they are. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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Self image... By the very name of it, it isn't about what others think or tell you... it is your own self image. Our children's own self image. It is such a worrisome topic! I don't want anything to discourage a healthy self image in my children. At the same time, I don't want it to be a fragile thing. My children hear my husband tease me about physical traits, hearing loss, age, you name it. But they also hear him compliment me all the time. They hear me laugh along with the teasing and tease right back.

What can we actively do to encourage a healthy self image? I try to set my kids up for success, for starters. I set them up with tasks or experiences that I know they can tackle with success. I comment when they accomplish things. It doesn't have to be a compliment, though. I don't want their self image to be reliant on outside opinions - that isn't self image. I spent too many years relying on someone else's opinion of me for my "self worth."

Sunday Surf: Secret Microwave Questions

This week we celebrated my husband's birthday. I started my dread project! Spencer had his 6 month well child check up. And I've been discovering that Spencer likes to play a little rough (upside down, thrown in the air just a little, swinging in my arms, that sort of thing). That has been my week! Here are a few interesting links for you!

Why did the Russians Ban an Appliance Found in 90% of American Homes?

Like I needed more reasons not to use the microwave. I'd really like to get completely away from it, I just don't see it happening - especially in this Summer heat! Have you managed to get rid of your microwave? I know people who have.

Sasha, sitting in front of the microwave on a Mac 'n Cheese night. I'm not sure box dinners are much better than microwave food.

40 Questions That Get Kids Talking

Conversations build connection, be it friends or family. Perhaps this list will help me make a more positive parenting connection, especially with my teenage daughter.

It Ain't Over: The Business 9 Women Kept A Secret For Three Decades

This story is one of those that will renew your faith in the human race. I don't often get teary-eyed from sappy stuff in the news, but this one... by the time I got most of the way through this one I was definitely dabbing away tears. These people are amazing! And what a fun way to help.

I'm joining Authentic Parenting and Hobo Mama for Sunday Surf. Share your best reading of the week, and link up your post at either blog!

For more great reading, visit Hobo Mama or Authentic Parenting for the latest Sunday Surf and linky.

Happy Surfing!

My CosPlaying Son

My teenaged son is a CosPlayer. It is his passion. He'd love to make a living at it! He is involved in several groups around town that get together to do CosPlay stuff. This is how he spent a recent Thursday afternoon:

This "CMV" (CosPlay Music Video) was based on a show called Hetalia: Axis Powers. The series' main presentation is as an often over-the-top allegory of political and historic events as well as more general cultural comparisons. Characters are personifications of countries.

I think it is cool that these kids are playing with history in their free time. My son CosPlayed the part of England.

What are your kids' hobbies?

Skanky Swimwear

Have you shopped for swim suits lately? Sasha needed a new suit this year and our super store had two options: Character or Skanky. "What," you ask, "skanky?" That's right. I have always had a problem with the idea of toddlers (and other young children) in bikinis. Is it just me? I think bikinis suggest a sexual image that should just not be placed on little girls! Come to think of it, though, I don't like much of the girls' clothes on the market.

I let Sasha choose between a few of the character one-piece suits available. She chose this one.

I will admit that there were some "tankinis" there as well and those do not bother me so much. Tankinis don't seem to carry as much of an adult connotation in my mind. I was tempted to get a tankini just to make bathroom trips easier (on me).

Even my teenager (13yo) has asked for a bikini this year, but she isn't actually due for a new suit yet. Her one-piece from last year should still fit. I like to let my children choose their clothing, but I will not have them out there slutting it up, luring pedophiles' attention.

What sort of swimsuit do your little girls wear?

The topic of characters on clothes is an entirely other possible rant. Another day, perhaps...

Monday Minimalist: Rearranging

Do you ever try to tackle a big "get rid of stuff" task and find yourself just moving items from their current spot to some other spot? I am absolutely guilty as charged! I've been alright with it, though. It really does mean more work as you wind up touching the same item several times before you (probably) just get rid of it anyway. It becomes about condensing, but that can lend itself to gently minimizing your stuff.

Our Walk-in Closet

We have 1 walk-in closet in our tiny apartment. It holds... stuff we don't want Sasha to get into (and won't need often), sheets, what is left of our clothes that we don't wear often and haven't donated yet, and some other odds and ends. For a walk-in closet, you notice you can't really walk into it? This was my point of interest this weekend.