Showing posts with label attachment parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label attachment parenting. Show all posts

Saturday, December 26, 2015

The Bittersweet End of an Era



Ode to Spencer Nursing
Spencer's nursing journey, over 4 years

Having nursed Sasha during Spencer's labor, which brought his birth on fast...
Having nursed him through his stay in the NICU...
and the slow cutting of those first sharp teeth at 12 months...
Having nursed him through his diagnosis of having a hyperactive thyroid...
as well as his Celiac diagnosis and resulting diet change for us both...
Having nursed him even while he explored new foods, through medical procedures and to help calm him after surgeries...

I nursed Spencer for 4 years. When he wakes up tomorrow, he will be 4 years old. And officially weaned. The last time he nursed was after his dental surgery earlier this month (seen in recovery in the bottom right photo). I knew it was coming, but I've been second guessing myself. He had dropped down to only asking for "Momma Milk" every few days. I was so glad to have it for him when he woke from surgery. I'm admittedly fearful of how we'll manage the next surgery sometime down the road. Spencer is my last child, so this is all behind me now. I nursed for a total of 10 years, tandem nursing for one of those!

Breastfeeding at 2 Months
2 month old Sasha at my breast, swaddled

As a mother, I done good. I was feeling ready. But now that it's done, I don't feel so ready anymore. This is the bittersweet end of an era for me...

Friday, April 11, 2014

Childhood Managed

Today's post is inspired by this article: The Overprotected Kid. It is a long read, but I found it fascinating. I am mostly referring to the first section of it today anyway, but do yourself a favor and look through all the photos of The Land all the way through.

The article made me kind of sad... a bit reminiscent... and maybe even a little hopeful that perhaps I can still salvage some free childhood for my kids! We most definitely roamed free when I was a kid. In my dad's neighborhood, the rule for our house was that when the sunset touched a particular building, it was time to be home! No watches, no mobile phones, no checking in - and often no one home to check in with anyway! We had our packs. We even built our own tree house on a piece of land my dad owned... but that was several blocks away from our home. We also had a clubhouse of sorts in the woods and a back route to get to the local convenience store. We roamed. And never did any of us wind up in the ER for it. or abducted. Are things so much more risky now? Statistics say that they're really not. What changed? Fear mongering. The news. I am quite prone to worry and have a "heal the world" issue so I don't watch the news. At all. And yet...

I'm terrified of losing my children and we've moved quite a bit since my littles were born... so I'm not comfortable with letting them freely explore the neighborhood alone (at 4 and 2yo). But... I love the idea of "The Land" in this article. I want to find a way to make risks available to my daughter (and my son)... in a safe enough way to comfort Dad's worry (and mine, though mine doesn't seem to be as strong).

I find myself wondering what sort of "junk" I might be able to find for free on Craigslist or Freecycle.. tires? pallets? We have some boards back there... When I was a kid we rode our bikes down to a carpet place in the neighborhood and raided their dumpster for scraps. We had a carpeted tree-house! What random stuff could you imagine stocking in your yard for more exploratory play?


I will say (and almost "in my defense," as if such a thing is necessary) that since we moved Sasha gets SO much more outdoor time. We have a fenced back yard now so she is allowed to go out there and explore and play to her heart's content. I prefer to keep a door open where I can hear her, especially since the door is stiff and she can't open it herself. I've relaxed more and more, though, and don't feel the need to have my eyes on her at all times. I even caught my teenager telling her not to go behind the shed. Um... why? I told her to go ahead if she wanted. She's been back there before. There are no extra risks back there, its just out of sight. What have I done to my oldest? She worries over her siblings far too much.

How free do you allow your children to be? How free is too free? And I'm totally serious about suggestions for "junk" to put in our back yard! I only wonder if I can refrain from showing my children what can be done with some pallets, boards and sheets... and just let them discover on their own! I've really been wanting a mud hole for them out there, too!

Monday, February 10, 2014

Essential Parenting Collection

Mindful Nurturing Essential Parenting CollectionMindful Parenting is my affiliate partner. I generally try to sell enough of a bundle that I can earn a free bundle myself. I'm sure you'll find something here you can use, too!



Welcome to the Essential Parenting Collection, the biggest online collection of Mindful Parenting products! This digital bundle offers a wide array of eProducts, including eBooks, audiobooks, eCourses, workbooks, audio, coloring pages.

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We have divided the products into 5 categories. Scroll down the page to learn more about ALL of these wonderful resources.

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  • Pregnancy and Birth
  • The Early Years
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Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Theory to Reality?

Welcome to the June 2013 Carnival of Natural Parenting:

Parenting in Theory vs. in Reality


This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants are sharing how their ideas and methods of parenting have changed.

***

I made promises to the ether as a kid and even got specific ideas regarding parenting in my head as I became an adult. I like to think I've held true to my own ideals, regardless of what others (especially family members) might have said or thought of my parenting.


Jorje (about 15yo) bakes with a friend.

  • Let my kids eat batter... check!
  • Be honest with kids about previous drug use... check!
  • Answer sex questions honestly, without adding extra embarrassment... check!
  • Don't limit language (cursing, when used in proper context)... check!
  • Let my kids taste alcohol at home so they're not tempted to do so elsewhere... check!

I have, however, had a harder time since having Sasha (my #3). She is my most strong-willed child (thus far). I don't want to explode, but sometimes I do. I don't want to punish, but sometimes I feel like the "options" I offer include a punishment.

AFFILIATE LINK: Your Three-Year-Old; Friend or EnemyAFFILIATE LINK: Your Three-Year-Old; Friend or EnemyI'm trying to research and gain a better understanding of my 3½ year old and how to take a gentle approach. (See affiliate link / book suggestion to the right.) We feel pretty lost much of the time. I was lost for awhile with my teenager, too (she is a special case), but I think we're doing pretty well now there.

How has your parenting style differed from what you expected?

***

Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: MamaVisit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

  • My little gastronomes — "I'll never cook a separate meal for my children," Maud at Awfully Chipper vowed before she had children; but things didn't turn out quite as she'd imagined.
  • Know Better, Do Better. Except When I Don't. — Jennifer from True Confessions of a Real Mommy was able to settle in her parenting choices before her children arrived, but that doesn't mean she always lives up to them.
  • Judgments Made Before Motherhood — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama looks back on her views of parents she came in contact with before she became a mother and how much her worldview of parenting has changed!
  • A Bend in The Road — Lyndsay at ourfeministplayschool writes about how her visions of homeschooling her son during the elementary school years have changed drastically in the last year - because HE wants to go to school.
  • I Wish Children Came with Instruction Manuals — While Dionna at Code Name: Mama loves reading about parenting, she's not found any one book that counts as an instruction manual. Every child is different, every family is different, every dynamic is different. No single parenting method or style is the be-all end-all. Still, wouldn't it be nice if parenting were like troubleshooting?
  • The Mistakes I've Made — Kate at Here Now Brown Cow laments the choices she made with her first child and explains how ditching her preconceived ideas on parenting is helping her to grow a happy family.
  • I Only Expected to Love... — Kellie at Our Mindful Life went into parenting expecting to not have all the answers. It turns out, she was right!
  • They See Me Wearin', They Hatin' — Erin Yuki at And Now, for Something Completely Different contemplates putting her babywearing aspirations into practice, and discussed how she deals with "babywearing haters."
  • Parenting Human BeingsErika Gebhardt lists her parenting "mistakes," and the one concept that has revolutionized her parenting.
  • Doing it right: what I knew before I had kids... — Lucy at Dreaming Aloud, guest posting at Natural Parents Network realises that the number one game in town, when it comes to parenting, is judgement about doing it right. But "doing it right" looks different to everybody.
  • The Great Breastfeeding Debacle — In Lisa at The Squishable Baby's mind, breastfeeding would be easy.
  • A synopsis of our reality as first time parents — Amanda at My Life in a Nut Shell summarizes the struggles she went through to get pregnant, and how her daughter's high needs paved the way for her and her husband to become natural parents.
  • Theory to Reality? — Jorje compares her original pre-kid ideas (some from her own childhood) to her personal parenting realities on MommaJorje.com.
  • The Princess Paradigm — Laura at Pug in the Kitchen had planned to raise her daughter in a sparkly, princess-free home, but in turn has found herself embracing the glitz.
  • Healthy Eating With Kids: Ideal vs. Real — Christy at Eco Journey In The Burbs had definite ideas about what healthy eating was going to look like in her family before she had kids. Little did she realize that her kids would have something to say about it.

Monday, June 10, 2013

eBundle Sale Ends Today!

The Mindful Parenting eBundle Sale ends TODAY!!!! This is your LAST CHANCE to get 22 quality parenting e-products for only $24.95 USD! Be quick to get your copy of this bundle!




Check out all the products included in this bundle:

Attachment Parenting International Teleseminar

Attachment Parenting isn’t new. In many ways, it is a return to the instinctual behaviors of our ancestors. In the last sixty years, the behaviors of attachment have been studied extensively by psychology and child development researchers, and more recently, by researchers studying the brain. This body of knowledge offers strong support for areas that are key to the optimal development of children, summarized in API’s Eight Principles of Parenting. Enjoy the exchange among the world’s leading experts in AP discussing API’s 8 Principles of Parenting, listen to their responses to questions of our time, and hear their answers to questions from the audience. $38 value

Panel experts include:

  • Dr. William Sears
  • Martha Sears
  • Dr. James McKenna
  • Ina May Gaskin
  • Dr. Isabelle Fox
  • Mary Ann Cahill
  • Barbara Nicholson
  • Lysa Parker


Relaxation Meditation (audio) — Amy Phoenix — lifetime access!!

Relaxation Meditation helps you access inner awareness and resolve, cultivating the space for true, lasting transformation. Relax into parenting as you enhance your relationship with yourself, your child, and life at the same time. $50 value




Newbie’s Guide to Positive Parenting — Becky Eanes

The Newbie’s Guide to Positive Parenting is an introduction to the philosophy of positive parenting.

It addresses what positive parenting is, and what it is not (permissive parenting). It discusses how to change your mindset from the traditional paradigm of control and fear to the positive parenting paradigm of connection and love. It gives you teaching tools and discusses the differences between consequences, punishments, and problem-solving. Finally, it goes over enforcing limits without punishments and 10 alternatives to punishments as well as 10 things that are more important than discipline.

This eBook will give you clarity on positive parenting and offer you tools and skills that will strengthen your relationship with your child while teaching values and instilling the self-discipline that will benefit your child for a lifetime. The Newbie's Guide to Positive Parenting provides several scenarios so you can see how positive parenting principles are applied in everyday situations. $1.99 value




Play Grow Learn — Christie Burnett

Bursting with ideas for playing inside and outside, with activities for moving, talking, cooking, creating, thinking, singing, imagining and constructing, Play Grow Learn is a downloadable e-zine that provides both inspiration and information for parents and educators of children from birth to 5 years.

Issue 3 includes over 100 playful activities including play suggestions for toddlers, an outdoor math hunt, ideas for exploring science in the kitchen, woodwork activities perfect for kids, an exclusive full colour set of printable puppets to get you singing with your kids PLUS art projects, book reviews, toy suggestions, playful parenting ideas, tips for making pack away time fun…and more! $4 value



 

Getting Back on Track! – Why We Explode and What We Can Do About It (audio) — Genevieve Simperingham

Listen to this audio to gain lots of insights into the tendency to meltdown, why it happens, how to see it coming and what to do instead of yelling or otherwise acting from a place of overwhelm and frustration. You’ll gain reassurance that it’s much more common than you thought, that it’s not your fault, but it is your responsibility. You’ll learn that there are psychological triggers going back to childhood at the core of your tendency to lose your cool. And most importantly you’ll gain lots of great tips and strategies from Genevieve and Patty that will make it so much easier to be the peaceful parent that you know that you really can be. $7.58 value




Stress Relief for Parents — Genevieve Simperingham

When you're at your wits end and need to rest and recuperate, this CD is a fantastic resource ~ Grab yourself fifteen minutes or so, choose your track and let Genevieve’s calming voice and supportive words guide you back to your self … back to your centre … back to balance … back to you at your best … back to peaceful parenting!

The track “Bliss” takes the listener through a 15 minute deep body relaxation. Genevieve’s soft Irish lilt backed by the celtic harp offers a soothing balm to their feelings and played at night next to their bed will ease their transition into a deep and restful sleep. Other tracks offer guided exercises that guide and teach the listener to centre and return to a calm balanced state and a warm connection with their child. $4.05 value




Creative Play Workshop (email course) — Gina Kimmel and Katherine Lockett

Connecting Family through Creative
Play
was born out of the everyday conversations of two stay-at-home Moms (with children under the age of 5) looking to find learning opportunities for their children, imaginative ways for them to explore art and media, novel ideas for play, ways to connect with them on a deeper level throughout the day, and the list goes on and on.

This e-Workshop will be a way that we can continue that conversation with you. One of the moms will be Gina from Connecting Family and Seoul, and the other is her dear blogging friend, Kat, from Creative Playhouse.

Both Kat and Gina will be working alongside of you during this 30-day creative play journey, which hopefully will continue on long after the workshop ends. $25 value




Mindset for Moms — Jamie Martin

Mindset for Moms: From Mundane to Marvelous Thinking in Just 30 Days is a guide for better thinking and increased happiness in parenting and in life. Lessons about positivity that took Jamie years to learn, you can learn in days–30 days, to be exact.

She’s consolidated the concepts in this e-book into short entries–perfect for busy moms to read and apply for immediate results. $4.99 value



 

Moods of Motherhood — Lucy Pearce

A compilation of her best-loved posts on motherhood from her popular blog, Dreaming Aloud, columns from JUNO magazine and many new pieces, never before published. According to one reader, “This book puts the mother, back in motherhood”. “It is no ordinary parenting book” but full of her trademark searing honesty and raw emotions. It will make you laugh, cry and feel deeply accepted – wherever on your mothering journey you may be.

Topics include: pregnancy and birth, happy days, anger and fierceness, sleep, playfulness, grief, love, patience, tenderness, homemaking… it is illustrated throughout with beautiful black and white photographs. $4.99 value





42 Rules for Divorcing with Children – Doing it With Dignity and Grace While Raising Happy, Healthy, Well-Adjusted Children — Melinda Roberts

42 Rules for Divorcing With Children offers practical ways to manage a healthy divorce, build a better team in two houses, minimize stress and anxiety on all fronts, and construct relationships with open and consistent communication. In this book you will learn:

  • What putting the children first really means.
  • How to preserve marital assets for you and your children.
  • How to set reasonable ground rules for the divorce and going forward.
  • How to set a respectful communication example so that you can divorce with dignity.

Use this book as objective advice, refer to it often, share it with others, use it as a reality check, and realize that divorce is not linear and that damage is not permanent or irreparable. If you do this well, the other parent will always be in your life. Find a way to make that tolerable for everyone, because no matter where you go or what you do, your children are tethered to both of you in an incredibly delicate and important way. Learn to accommodate each other as a gift to your children while they grow. Share others’ success stories for simple, practical advice and insights. See how taking care of yourself will help you take care of your family and prevent divorce remorse and divided loyalties. Set good examples that will help them make their own relationship choices wisely by drawing on your positive experience. And for you, know that someday, somewhere, you will almost certainly find a partner with whom you can have a mutually respectful, loving, and responsible relationship. $19.99 value




Nurturing Creativity, Guide for Busy Moms — Renee Tougas

Nurturing Creativity: A Guide for Busy Moms is a book to help you grow creatively.Nurturing Creativity is about embracing the seasons of motherhood and appreciating where you are while helping you to make creativity a priority in your life.

It will encourage you to let go of perfection, to start small, and to find inspiration in everyday living. This little book will challenge you to make the most of the time you do have. Time you can spend creating beauty and meaning – with your head, heart, and hands. $3 value




The Playful Family — Shawn Ledington Fink

The Playful Family encourages and challenges busy parents to slow down and spend quality time together with their children, regardless of their age. With nearly 100 ways to connect, engage and play together this easy-to-read e-book is a must-have resource for any parent interested in becoming more playful and happy while raising children. Each chapter includes dozens of ideas as well as a challenge to motivate families to put their own ideas to work in real life. $4.99 value




Poetry of a Hobo Mama, The First Three Years — Lauren Wayne

Poetry of a Hobo Mama contains three years’ worth of parenting poetry, written from the time Lauren and her husband, Sam, were preparing for Mikko, through watching him grow to three years old. She has included poems that speak of their natural parenting journey — breastfeeding, the family bed, elimination communication, and natural birth among them.

The book is a combination of free verse and more traditional poetry forms, and the topics and tone run through all the variations the poet felt when writing them: the grief of miscarriage, the anticipation of trying to conceive, the upheaval of the newborn months, the joy of parenting, and the balance of motherhood and personal passion. $9.37 value




Parenting for Social Change — Teresa Graham Brett

Parenting for Social Change: Transform Childhood, Transform the World (Social Change Press) is a powerful parenting book that isn’t about children, but about the harmful cultural messages we, as parents, perpetuate in our relationships with children. It addresses the work we as parents must do to free ourselves, the children who share our lives, and our world from those harmful messages.

The author, Teresa Graham Brett, uses current social science research to debunk the myth that controlling children is necessary to ensure they grow up to be healthy and responsible adults. She demonstrates how changing our parent-child relationships plays a critical role in creating social change. More importantly, it gives parents strategies and tools for letting go of harmful control of children. $15 value




Encouraging Words for Kids — Kelly Bartlett

Encouraging Words for Kids gives parents over 150 examples of phrases to say that inspire a child’s confidence and self-motivation. Encouragement is about drawing forth a child’s own drive to work hard and do what’s right without being told; this book shows you how to get there. It is a guide that parents can turn to again and again whenever they need a dose of inspiration in creating positive communication with their kids. $3.48 value




Raising a Creative Kid, Simple Strategies for Igniting and Nurturing That Creative Spark — Jillian Riley

Raising a Creative Kid: Simple Strategies for Igniting and Nurturing that Creative Spark is just what you need to transform your environment into a creativity growth center. With creative exercises following each of the sections I have made moving into a creative lifestyle as easy as possible. Just like I do with everything else on amomwithalessonplan.com, I use and recommend materials that are inexpensive or free. $7.99 value




Children and Food (multimedia workshop) — Tara Wagner

This mini-toolkit helps you recreate the whole family’s experience with food. No more fighting at dinnertime. No more forcing or bribing. No more worrying about your child’s ability to make good choices. You’ll have the tools necessary to begin to release control, lean into Trust, and make mealtime a joyful and fun experience. But it starts with your own relationship with food. $25 value It includes:

  • 72 min audio: Describes the most important principles in raising healthy children and how to begin practicing them (Value: $200)
  • 39 page workbook: Packed full of exercises to help you DIG IN and put new traditions and experiences into place (Value: $40)
  • Covers everything from: how your experience with food affects your children and how to change that, how to meet the varying needs and tastes of the whole family without feeling like a "short order cook," as well as tips, ideas, strategies, recipes, and more from me and other mindful mamas.



Coming Of Age: How To Stop Worrying About "The Talk," and Start Talking With Your Girl! (audio) — DeAnna L’am

  • Remember "The Talk" you received from your Mom, or your school’s nurse?
  • Remember how awkward you felt listening?
  • Wonder how you can do a better job with your girl?

If you would you like to feel relaxed, confident, and at ease when speaking with your girl about becoming a woman - this is for you!

You will experience a sense of CALM and PEACE within yourself; An INNER EASE about the girl YOU once were; A DEEPER UNDERSTANDING of what your girl is feeling; SELF-TRUST going into any conversation with your girl; And a growing EASE in your relationship with her.

This downloadable recording will deepen trust between you and your girl, and lay a foundation for lifelong openness between you! $27 value




The Parenting Primer: A Guide to Positive Parenting in the First Six Years — Michelle Carchrae

The Parenting Primer is a guide to the main ideas and strategies used in gentle discipline. It will show you how attachment works to create harmony in families, empowering you to parent in a positive, creative way.

The Parenting Primer begins by looking at how love and limits influence our parenting, then explores other topics that affect our relationships with our children, such as information on brain development or personality, communication skills, lifestyle choices, creativity and self-discipline. $6.99 value




Mommy Overwhelm, A Holistic Approach to Parental Stress and Depression — Laura Schuerwegen

Mommy Overwhelm is a step-stone guide for parents who want to overcome daily overwhelm, stress and depression. In this book, Laura draws from her own experience overcoming a longstanding depression to hand you the tools to heal. From strengthening foods and herbs to exercises and activities, this guide will kickstart your journey to happier, balanced parenting. $2.99 value

What readers say about Mommy Overwhelm:

"I love your sense of urgency on this issue – the way you talk about reaching out and getting the community you deserve. Too many times, women end up doing it all and struggling in silence. So many moms can “keep it together” but that’s not the way to live. They deserve more help and more support."




Unique Parenting Tool: Sleep Talking Set — Marcy Axness

This set includes the Dr. Marcy Audio Coaching Session "Speaking to Your Child's Subconscious" and companion eBooklet, A Unique 7-Step Parenting Tool: Sleep Talking.

Throughout my recent talks all over the world, what were SO many people interested in learning about? After hearing about the power of prenatal imprints, they wanted to know what parents could do when things didn't go so smoothly in pregnancy, birth or around conception. I make it clear that repair & healing are ALWAYS possible at ANY age, and mentioned an somewhat out-of-the-box approach I've developed over my years of coaching parents -- which includes talking to your child in his or her sleep.

They were so keen to learn, that I put together this primer in the power of the subconscious mind -- and how to use it to create healing change. This 75-minute presentation includes a powerful guided imagery to use the power of imagination in making positive changes to parents' own inner lives and childhood history. $13.95 value




Special Bonus Freebie: The Mindful Mothering Challenge — Jennifer Saleem

This 57-page eBook takes mothers through 20 small steps designed to help them become more mindful mothers. Follow along with Jennifer's journey as you begin your own. The Mindful Mothering Challenge will awaken your mothering, push you beyond your comfort zone, and deepen your connection with your children.




With each sale, I earn an affiliate fee on this bundle. Buying this bundle supports my family and all the hard work I put into this blog. Get it NOW!

Monday, June 3, 2013

Sleep Talking: A Unique Parenting Tool

This is a guest post from one of the authors involved in the Mindful Parenting eBundle Sale. Please welcome Marcy Axness, PhD. Scroll to the bottom for a short bio. The eBundle links below are my affiliate links, but I wouldn't share this information with you if I didn't support the products myself and think you would be interested, too. As I dig through the contents of this eBundle, I am amazed by the authors and variety of topics I find! I've always been fascinated by the idea of "Sleep Talking" as a parenting tool.


In my years of coaching and counseling parents-in-progress, a unique and little-known tool has proved incredibly useful: sleep talking. It is yet another way in which to practice Parenting for Peace’s #1 Principle – Presence. Speaking to your child while he or she is sleeping is a way to be present to your child in a powerful way, and to speak directly to the unconscious, bypassing whatever protective deflection your waking child might have toward the words of acknowledgement and healing you want to share.

Philipino pediatrician Rhodora Diaz was inspired to develop this as a “last resort” for two young rebellious, hostile young patients who had one thing in common: they had both been unwanted conceptions, and both mothers had resented their pregnancies.

When she got reports some months later from both of these mothers that their children’s attitudes behaviors had dramatically improved after sleep talking to them, Dr. Diaz began suggesting the technique for helping other children with puzzling or persistent problems. Over time, she refined a 4-part “Sleep Talking Script” as a guide:
  1. Statement of love
  2. Statement of the problem
  3. Interpretation / proposal for a solution
  4. Statement of love & commitment (closing statement)

Dr. Diaz suggests limiting the Sleep Talk session to five or ten minutes. She has found that the best time for a session seems to be in the early morning, before the child wakes up (which is a deep sleep).

I work with clients to help zero in on what they might “sleep talk” about with their child. I have found with many parents in my practice that previously unrecognized traumas during infancy, birth, pregnancy and even conception often prove to be avenues for discovering clues to troubling “inexplicable” behavior or developmental issues. These often serve as key points to be addressed through sleep talking. So that is Step One – thoughtfully and intuitively zeroing in on these kinds of events or experiences that may have planted the seed for these later issues.

Step Two is to prepare at least an outline of the main points you will touch upon in each of Dr. Diaz’ four parts of sleep talking. Here is just one “script” example from a parent in my practice. (Note Dr. Diaz’ four elements – which are Steps Four through Seven of my adapted protocol):

James, you are our precious boy and we love you so much… and we’re so proud and happy to be your parents… and that you came to be our son.

We notice that you’re sometimes very dreamy and you’re not quite present with us... like you’re up flying in the clouds. Sometimes what happens is that we get impatient or frustrated trying to reach you... and then that creates a separation between us. We would like to bring you back to earth, and help you really be here, and feel comfortable with us here.

When you first came to us, we hadn’t expected you, and so we were surprised. We were really happy you were coming, but we realized we had to make a lot of changes to get ready for you... and so there was some chaos and crazy times and some really hard work we had to do. So we’re thinking that might have made you feel unsure about whether or not you really belonged here with us. Maybe you got the idea that if you really came to us it would cause too much trouble.

We want you to know that we’re so happy you’re here, and all the changes we made in preparing the way for you were wonderful changes. You’ve enriched our lives so much, and we love you and want you to be fully here with us, all the way, with your entire being. We look forward to all our happy years with you, all of us growing together.

So what is the missing Step Three? Sitting with the material you plan to discuss with your child long enough to process out any “emotional overload.” As I learned from the brilliant psychiatrist Myriam who works with babies in a Parisian neonatal intensive care unit – effecting miraculous healings by simply speaking their (usually difficult) prenatal or birth stories to them – it is more effective when we can speak with words that are straightforward and unclouded by too much sentiment or emotionality.

To read more about this gentle, compassionate and useful technique, visit Dr. Diaz’ site: WhileChildrenSleep.


A member of Mothering magazine’s online expert panel, and a popular international speaker, Marcy Axness, PhD, is a professor of prenatal development, and she also has a private practice coaching parents-in-progress. She provides training for childcare, adoption, education, and mental health professionals about the latest findings in the science of human thriving, and is the author of a new book that distills that research: Parenting for Peace: Raising the Next Generation of Peacemakers. She invites you to join her at MarcyAxness.com.

Marcy's Sleep Talking is just 1 of the 22 eProducts included in the Mindful Parenting eBundle Sale! The eBundle is valued at over $274 USD, costing you approximately $1.13 per product! Sale ends June 10th!

Included topics cover peaceful guidance, creativity and play, stress relief for parents, mindful motherhood, divorce, coming of age, children and food!

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Everyone Misses Sleep

The Taboo Carnival
Welcome to the Taboo Carnival. Our topic this Spring is “I Miss My Life!” This post was written for inclusion in the quarterly Taboo Carnival hosted by Momma Jorje and Hybrid Rasta Mama. This month our participants reflect on life before and after motherhood and “missing” some of the aspects of life without children. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.


*******************************


Ask 100 (or hundreds) of parents (especially moms) what they miss most about pre-baby days and the #1 answer is going to be sleep. It isn't just sleep I miss, though. I miss being able to roll around and lay on this side or that side or on my belly whenever I want. See, if I sleep with my back to my baby I don't wake as fast. Then I have to spend more time getting him settled back to sleep. And the other sleep thing that I miss a lot, that seems so ridiculous and yet I think of it often, is sleeping with the covers pulled up over my ears. I like to have the comforter pulled up almost over my head. I can't cover my ears to sleep now because I have littles I need to hear.

Another common answer has to do with the time we had with our partners pre-baby. Yep, I miss that, too. I miss being able to go get on the Harley and take my husband boyfriend for a ride whenever we wanted to go. We fondly recall those times when we happen upon an old favorite path. I miss being able to drop anything and have sex in any room at any time of day. We really have to work at finding the time and space as well as seizing opportunities when they arise.

Momma Jorje's Harley Davidson

I don't resent my children for it. It isn't like its their fault! I wouldn't change the choices I made. I love my children. I even love them when I wake with a crick in my neck or shoulder from sleeping in an awkward position. I even love them when I'm chasing them at the zoo on a beautiful day instead of feeling the wind in my hair. But that doesn't change the "missing it" feeling...

I don't usually share these feelings with friends because I'm afraid that 1) they'll misunderstand and 2) they don't understand our choice (and not-so-choice) not to use sitters. I have friends that leave their kids and go out, even AP friends! We don't have that option, really, which I know is part personal choice.

What do you miss from your pre-baby life?



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Visit Momma Jorje and Hybrid Rasta Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Taboo Carnival! Enjoy the posts from this month’s Carnival participants!


  • 10 Drastic Differences Between Life Before and After Becoming A Mother — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama compares her life before and after becoming a mother and muses on why it is pretty incredible despite never having a moment alone.

  • Sometimes — ANonyMous @ Radical Ramblings reflects on the things she misses about being childless, despite the fact she wouldn't change her decision to become a mother for anything.

  • The Baby Moon is Over — Mercedes at Project Procrastinot remembers her babymoon and misses the simplicity of being a wife before children.

Friday, March 8, 2013

Politically Correct Natural Parenting

The Taboo Carnival
Welcome to the Taboo Carnival. Our topic this Spring is RESPONDING TO THE NATURAL PARENTING COMMUNITY! This post was written for inclusion in the quarterly Taboo Carnival hosted by Momma Jorje and Hybrid Rasta Mama. This month our participants reflect on criticism of the natural parenting community both from those parents outside of it’s perceived borders as well as those inside the community itself. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.


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While I agree that there are individuals within the natural parenting community whom are too lackadaisical or too militant, I think my larger issue is the very "politically correct" speech often offered, "to each their own." I agree that no one way of parenting is right for every child, not even within the same household. However, there are books/philosophies out there that have literally been deemed dangerous to babies! Every parent has a need to feel that they are doing it right, but more than that I think there are lots of parents out there doing it wrong! Are we not supposed to help them? And if we do try, are we merely seen like a fundamentalist trying to convert a heathen?

Momma Jorje, Natural Parent
One tenet of NP: Wear your babies, keep them close

And so we write. And we talk. Just be open about your parenting choices and believe in them. Be approachable, without being too judgy. Be proud of your choices. But be honest, as well. Recognize that even the most "natural" of parents isn't perfect 24/7, so don't try to act like you are - within the community or without.


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Visit Momma Jorje and Hybrid Rasta Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Taboo Carnival! Enjoy the posts from this month’s Carnival participants!

  • Politically Correct Natural Parenting — Jorje of Momma Jorje doesn't want parents practicing Natural Parenting to walk on eggshells with other parents.

  • Keep Your Labels — ANonyMous @Radical Ramblings discusses why she isn't comfortable with the label "natural parent" and urges us all to be a little more respectful and accepting.

  • Finding a Happy Parent Place — A "circumstantial loner," Mercedes at Project Procrastinot enjoys her forays in to the Natural Parenting community while learning the ropes of mothering twins.

Friday, February 8, 2013

February Taboo Carnival Call for Submissions

Jorje from Momma Jorje and Jennifer from Hybrid Rasta Mama are pleased to present the second quarterly edition of The Taboo Carnival. This Carnival will be held four times yearly (February, May, August, and November). The topics will be wide and varied but focus on subjects that are typically not discussed in the natural parenting/mindful living world of bloggers.

The February Taboo Carnival topic is:
Responding to the Natural Parenting Community!


There is often a lot of criticism of the natural parenting community both from those
parents outside of it’s perceived borders as well as those inside the community
itself.

To those parents on the outside, the natural parenting community appears to
be some sort of exclusive clique, where everything is “our way or the highway.”
You are either all in or completely out. No middle ground. These same parents
may feel that those in the natural parenting community are judgmental bringing
condemnation and hatred down on anyone who does not parents by their rules!

Within the natural parenting community, there is often just as much of the
“outside looking in” mentality. While some parents practice most of the natural
parenting tenants, there are a few that just do not fit with their lifestyle of personal
beliefs. Other natural parents are rather militant, condemning those who do not
embrace natural parenting it its totality. And the variations of this go on and on.

This month, we would like you to respond to the Natural Parenting Community.
While this topic might seem rather broad, we would like to offer some suggestions
for post topics:

  • Are you a parent on the outside looking in? Are you feeling like you cannot make the transition to natural parenting for fear that you will be rejected by those already in the community?

  • Have you been hurt by a member or members of the natural parenting community?
    What was the situation and how would you like to respond?

  • Are you a natural parent who feels like the community as whole is too militant? Too lacidaisical?

  • What is your overall perception of natural parenting and how it is presented to the public?

  • What do you think about the term “natural parenting?”

  • Is the natural parenting community too exclusive? Does it really set other parents up to be guilt ridden if they do not meet the natural parenting standards? Are there even true natural parenting standards?

Remember, these are just our thoughts and idea to get your creative juices flowing. You are welcome to write about anything responding to the natural parenting community. A BIG REMINDER – BE RESPECTFUL! This is NOT going to turn into an attack on natural parenting or the natural parenting community. What we are hoping to do is open up a new conversation in an effort to begin putting an end to all of the parenting wars out there!

We understand that some of these topics might be sensitive or too personal to share on your own blog. Therefore, we will have a “post swap” option where another blogger will host your post anonymously and you in turn will host another blogger’s post. We will handle all of the details of the post trade once we receive your submission. The host blogger will never know by whom the post was written.

Submissions Deadline: Tuesday, February 19, 2013.

Fill out the webform (at the bottom of this post) and email your submission to jorje {at} mommajorje{dot}com AND jennifer{at}hybridrastamama{dot}com by 11:59 p.m. Pacific time.

Carnival date: Tuesday, February 26, 2013. Before you post, we will send you an email with a little blurb in html to paste into your submission that will introduce the carnival. You will publish your post on February 26th before 8am PST and email us the link if you haven’t done so already. Once everyone’s posts are published, we will send out a finalized list of all the participants’ links to generate lots of link love for your site. We’ll include full instructions in the email we send before the posting date.

A few housekeeping items:

  • Please write a new, previously unpublished post for the carnival.
  • We will email you with specific instructions on posting before carnival day.
  • Please do not post your article until the carnival date.
  • We reserve the right to accept submissions based on relevance to the topic and quality of writing.
  • Please refrain from using profanity, poor spelling and grammar, and vicious personal attacks.
  • We will NOT be editing your post so please proofread and run a spelling and grammar check.

If you have any questions, you are welcome to contact us vis email!

Copy the Taboo Carnival badge and add it to your sidebar:

To stay connected:

We are so looking forward to reading all the contributions for the Carnival!

~ Jorje and Jennifer

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Sunday Surf: Daughters Reading about Guilt

I hope you & yours are having a great Father's Day! Here are my pick from... well, recent weeks.

10 Things I Want My Daughter To Know Before She Turns 10

This one might require some tissues. I think I'm going to go share this with my 13yo son right now...

5yo Ronni reading to GrandpaRonni (then 5 years old) reading to Grandpa

50 Inspiring Children’s Books with a Positive Message

Especially with Summer Reading programs going on, what books do you choose for your children? I always let Sasha choose some books for herself, but I try to request books I think she'll enjoy. Here is a good list of books. Now if only my library had all of them!

Mommy Guilt~The Human Factor

We tell each other, "be gentle with yourself." We advise not to be too hard on ourselves. I think for us (my husband and I), we sometimes get uncomfortable if our child isn't "behaving" in public. Parents tend to feel that it is a direct reflection on their parenting skills. This article reminds us that our children are not just mirrors of us. They are their own individual beings and we shouldn't feel guilt over their personalities and temperaments. Great article!

Sunday Surf with Authentic Parenting and Hobo MamaI'm joining Authentic Parenting and Hobo Mama for Sunday Surf. Share your best reading of the week, and link up your post at either blog!

For more great reading, visit Hobo Mama or Authentic Parenting for the latest Sunday Surf and linky.

Happy Surfing!

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Sunday Surf: Parenting, Non-Parenting, and icky stuff

It was a normal week, with a few appointments. I found a bunch of links, though. I like limiting my list to 3 links, though, so here are 3 of them... I should already have material for next week!

What Everyone's Missing in the Attachment-Parenting Debate

Attachment parenting isn't about breastfeeding or babywearing or cosleeping. It is about responding to our children. This article shares some history - from before the well-known Sears book. Its pretty cool!

Family Bed Birthday Morning

An open letter to all parents from a non-parent.

You might have already seen this one since it is making the rounds no Facebook, but it is just too funny to miss - if you haven't already seen it. It might even be a good one to share with your non-parent friends to help them understand why you might not have quite as much of an attention span for them these days.

FDA Asked to Take Ban Use of Pesticide for Head Lice

This was coming people, I knew it was coming! I've posted before, Lindane is bad! I have lots of posts about lice and how to treat it naturally.

Consider this: The EPA banned the use of Lindane in pesticides, but the FDA still allows it to be used on children's scalps! It is seriously scary stuff. Go read the article! I'll be so glad when the news reports that Lindane HAS been banned completely!

Sunday Surf with Authentic Parenting and Hobo MamaI'm joining Authentic Parenting and Hobo Mama for Sunday Surf. Share your best reading of the week, and link up your post at either blog!

For more great reading, visit Hobo Mama or Authentic Parenting for the latest Sunday Surf and linky.

Happy Surfing!

Friday, June 8, 2012

Angry Birds & other iStuff

I have a smart phone. I have a smart phone that isn't quite smart enough to require internet service. I just can not justify the expense. I've read articles about all sorts of crazy apps from games like Angry Birds to an app that translates your baby's cry so you know what they need.

Playing Angry Birds on the iPad - Photo Credit: randomcuriosityAngry Birds on the iPad

Monday, May 28, 2012

I am an AP mom, regardless...

I Am Mom! Enough! Carnival buttonWelcome to the I Am Mom! Enough! Carnival hosted by Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama and Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children.

This Carnival is dedicated to empowering ALL parents who practice and promote a peaceful, loving, attachment parenting philosophy. We have asked other parents to help us show the critics and the naysayers that attachment parenting is beautiful, uplifting, and unbelievably beneficial and NORMAL!

In addition to the Carnival, Joni from Tales of a Kitchen Witch and Jennifer from True Confessions of a Real Mommy are co-hosting a Linky Party. Please stop by either blog to share any of your posts on the topic.

Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants. Post topics are wide and varied, and every one is worth a read.

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When I got pregnant 14 years ago, I knew I wanted to be at home with my child. I couldn't imagine leaving my baby with someone else for 8+ hours per day. I had just started a new job (literally interviewed within an hour after my pregnancy test!). So I worked hard to prove my worth during that first month and then I confessed to my boss, despite others' urging to wait an extra month.

My boss thought I was going to quit. We couldn't afford that. My 2nd choice for a solution, I told my boss I would love to work from home. He helped me with the process of becoming a corporation so he could contract the work out to me. I worked from home as an attachment parent for 8 years as my own corporation. I even had a few other clients along the way!

The view from my desk.Ronni - 2½ years old
The view from my desk.

I was a Work At Home Mom - and an Attachment Parent (though I didn't know there was a name for it). I breastfed her until she was 3½ years old. Its what worked for us. That is not what worked for my friends, partner or extended family. It is what worked for my daughter and myself.

Years later, in a new relationship, I found myself pregnant again. (I promise, I know what causes that!) I was working Full Time, my husband was working Part Time, and I took on an extra Part Time job on the side as my mother's Home Health Aid so we could afford an expensive condo close to my mom, planning to have her and my sister help with the baby.

When Sasha was 6 weeks old, I had to return to work. I pumped my breastmilk so Daddy could feed her while I was gone. I came home on lunch breaks to nurse her myself. Eventually she went on a bottle strike and opted to wait for me to get home to feed her myself.

QA Cage at Work
My Cage for the first year of Sasha's life.

I was a Work Outside the Home Mom - and an Attachment Parent. This time I discovered the name for it! She is still nursing a few minutes every day at 2½ years old. It is what works for us.

Eventually, I dropped the Part Time job and we moved to a cheaper apartment. My Full Time job stress increased exponentially. We cut back enough expenses that I was able to drop the Full Time job and go back to the Part Time job as my mother's Home Health Aid. We also wanted to focus on conceiving a son.

Two months later my mother had a stroke. Her hospitalization left me laid off of work. Two days later we got our positive pregnancy test. Two months later, she passed away. For nearly a year, I would claim to be "unemployed." I now proudly claim to be a homemaker.

Homemaker Home OfficeMy new "home office."

I am a Stay At Home Mom - and an Attachment Parent. I have left Spencer once (with Daddy) since bringing him home... for maybe 30 minutes. Oh wait, I also leave him for 10-15 minutes when I walk to the laundromat. He is exclusively breastfed, other than when I had a supply issue. It is what works for us.

I have been a WAHM, WOHM, and a SAHM, always an Attachment Mom and Yes, I am Mom Enough! I am mom enough for each of my babies! AP is what has worked for us, regardless of income or job status.

Are you an Attachment Parent? Do you think you could still be an Attachment Parent if your circumstances changed?

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Thank you for visiting the I Am Mom! Enough! Carnival hosted by hosted by Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama and Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children.

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants and check out previous posts at the linky party hosted by Joni from Tales of a Kitchen Witch and Jennifer from True Confessions of a Real Mommy:

  • Good Enough? — Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy writes about how Good Enough is not Good Enough, if you use it as an excuse to stop trying.
  • The High Cost of High Expectations JeninCanada at Fat and Not Afraid shares what it's like to NOT feel 'mom enough' and wanting to always do better for herself and family.
  • TIME to Be You! — Becky at Old New Legacy encourages everyone to be true to themselves and live their core values.
  • I am mom and I have had ENOUGH — A mother had had ENOUGH of the mommy wars.
  • Motherhood vs. Feminism — Doula Julia at juliamannes.com encourages feminists to embrace the real needs and cycles and strengths of women.
  • There Is No Universal Truth When It Comes To Parenting — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama discusses how parenting looks around the world and why there is no universal parenting philosophy.
  • Attachment Parenting Assumptions — ANonyMous at Radical Ramblings argues that attachment parenting is not just for the affluent middle-classes, and that as parents we all need to stop worrying about our differences and start supporting each other.
  • Thoughts on Time Magazine, Supporting ALL Mamas, and Advocating for the Motherless — Time Magazine led That Mama Gretchen to think about her calling as a mother and how adoption will play an important role in growing her family.
  • Attachment Parenting: the Renewed Face of Feminism — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children embraces her inner feminist as she examines how the principles of attachment parenting support the equal treatment of all.
  • What a Mom Wants! — Clancy Harrison from Healthy Baby Beans writes about how women need to support each other in their different paths to get to the same destination.
  • Attachment Parenting: What One Family Wants You To Know — Jennifer, Kris, 4 year old Owen and 2 year old Sydney share the realities of attachment parenting, and how very different it looks than the media's portrayal.
  • We ALL Are Mom Enough — Amy W. of Amy Willa: Me, Mothering, and Making It All Work thinks that all mothers should walk together through parenthood and explores her feelings in prose.
  • A Typical Day Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment shares what a typical day with her attached family looks like...all in the hopes to shed light on what Attachment Parenting is, what it's not and that it's unique within each family!
  • The Proof is in the (organic, all-natural) Pudding — Kym at Our Crazy Corner of the World talks about how, contrary to what the critics say, the proof that attachment parenting works in visible in the children who are parented that way.
  • Time Magazine & Mommy Wars: Enough! What Really Matters? — Abbie at Farmer's Daughter encourages moms to stop fighting with each other, and start alongside each other.
  • Attachment parenting is about respect — Lauren at Hobo Mama breaks down what attachment parenting means to her to its simplest level.
  • I am an AP mom, regardless... — Jorje ponders how she has been an Attachment Parenting mom regardless of outside circumstances at Momma Jorje.
  • The first rule of Attachment Parenting is: You Do Not Talk about Attachment Parenting — Emily discusses, with tongue aqnd cheek, how tapping into our more primal selves actually brings us closer to who we are rather than who we think we should be.
  • Mom, I am. — Amy at Anktangle discusses how Attachment Parenting is a natural extension of who she is, and she explains the ways her parenting approach follows the "live and let live" philosophy, similar to her beliefs about many other areas of life.
  • I Breastfeed My Toddler for the Nutritional Benefits — Christine at African Babies Don't Cry shares why 'extended' breastfeeding is not extreme and how she is still nursing her toddler for the nutritional benefits.
  • I Am Dad Enough! — Attachment parenting does not only have to be about moms; their partners are just as important. In Code Name: Mama's family, Dionna's husband, Tom, is papa enough for lots of things.
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