The Bittersweet End of an Era

Spencer's nursing journey, over 4 years

Having nursed Sasha during Spencer's labor, which brought his birth on fast...
Having nursed him through his stay in the NICU...
and the slow cutting of those first sharp teeth at 12 months...
Having nursed him through his diagnosis of having a hyperactive thyroid...
as well as his Celiac diagnosis and resulting diet change for us both...
Having nursed him even while he explored new foods, through medical procedures and to help calm him after surgeries...

I nursed Spencer for 4 years. When he wakes up tomorrow, he will be 4 years old. And officially weaned. The last time he nursed was after his dental surgery earlier this month (seen in recovery in the bottom right photo). I knew it was coming, but I've been second guessing myself. He had dropped down to only asking for "Momma Milk" every few days. I was so glad to have it for him when he woke from surgery. I'm admittedly fearful of how we'll manage the next surgery sometime down the road. Spencer is my last child, so this is all behind me now. I nursed for a total of 10 years, tandem nursing for one of those!

2 month old Sasha at my breast, swaddled

As a mother, I done good. I was feeling ready. But now that it's done, I don't feel so ready anymore. This is the bittersweet end of an era for me...

Updated Review: Making Mama’s Milk Lactation Cookies - GF!

Back in May 2012, I wrote a review of Making Mama's Milk and More lactation Cookies for a joint giveaway with Natural Parents Network. At that time, I was having to give Spencer donor milk because I couldn't keep up with his demand. Oatmeal had been enough to help with Sasha and before that I had never had a problem. Nothing was working with Spencer... until this. Following the instructions and drinking water with my cookie(s), I immediately saw improvement! I never supplemented Spencer's breastmilk again. I have since recommended them to any and all that have had a supply issue.

Then Spencer was diagnosed with Celiac Disease and I realized that I'd have to stop eating my amazing cookies. It may be noteworthy to mention, too, that I had the hardest time only eating 1-2 cookies per day. They're good, people! Anyway, I had to stop eating them. I started donating my sleeves of cookies to local struggling mothers. Then I mentioned the gluten thing (Celiac Disease) to the mom behind MMM&M. She informed me she had added GF cookies! I was shocked! Elated! Why hadn't I thought to ask?! Please send me some of those!

She just got new labels, so this is low tech right here.

As I mentioned, I've always enjoyed these cookies. They're good quality and they taste good! However, I have been gluten free for over 6 months and I know the reality - Gluten Free is just never quite as good. Imagine my surprise when my Gluten Free cookies arrived and... they were somehow even better than the original cookies! I could hardly believe it!

I feel a little bad for local moms that will no longer receive my sleeves of cookies, but I'm very happy to have my cookies back, too! I believe in and use this product! I believe in the company, too. Before giving up, please try these cookies. They are so worth your time! Please check out her site for more information. Like the Facebook page to catch her giveaways!

Disclosure: I did not receive any free samples for review purposes.
I already have a subscription for monthly cookie delivery.
I try to seek out only products I think you would find relevant and useful
to your life as a natural parent. If I don't like a product, I won't be
recommending it to you.

Benefits of Down Syndrome

Welcome to Down Syndrome Awareness Month 2013! I've written a lot in the past about the challenges that can come along with Down syndrome. Today I want to touch upon (perhaps again?) the benefits, however silly, of Down syndrome.

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We're not having any more children. This decision has nothing to do with Down syndrome, we just don't want more children. I do love babies, though! You know how people wish kittens would stay kittens or puppies would stay puppies? Well with Down syndrome, growth (and development) happens on a smaller, slower scale. This means that I get to keep my baby a baby longer. Knowing he's my last, I treasure every baby moment and I'm having extras!

I would have nursed Spencer past infancy regardless,
but his smaller size makes it easier to cradle him.

You know how fast kids outgrow their clothes? You hate to spend much money on an outfit because before you know it, they've only worn it a few times and can't anymore. Spencer can wear the same clothes for a lot longer. In fact, I tend to start with big clothes and fold the cuffs, so Spencer has some Winter shirts this year that he wore last year and I'm sure he'll wear next year, too!

November 2012 vs October 2013

This shirt is an 18 month. I had to fold the cuffs twice last year, but have only been folding them once this year. Next year I probably won't have to fold them at all! And that will make 3 years in the same shirt. I might even get 4 years out of it!

Because of the delayed development, and the sheer variety of delays (no two children with Down syndrome experience the same medical problems or developmental delays), you don't get the same "keeping up with the Joneses" attitude. While sometimes it does sting to see another child surpass my son's skills (even though he walked before his friends with DS), there isn't the same competition you might find in other mom communities.

Physical Therapist, Rachel, trying to get Spencer to evenly use both legs.

Watching my son reach his milestones is a much bigger deal than it was with my other children. When you have to work harder for something, when you have to help them work harder for something, it makes the goal a bigger deal. I love all of my kids and I was excited for each of them as they learned to walk, but it was more exciting when Spencer reached that milestone. I guess maybe I'd summarize this one by saying that having a baby with DS is more exciting!

This was, quite possibly, the hardest day I've had as Spencer's Mommy.
But through supporting him during the hard stuff, I feel a very close bond.

Dealing with the extra medical procedures, I've learned that I'm stronger than I ever knew. I was so scared in the beginning and had to have moral support at every appointment. (That is okay, too. Get what you need.)

Nearly two years into this journey, I think I'm beginning to understand why so many mothers (of children with Down syndrome) say they wouldn't change a thing!

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October is Down Syndrome Awareness Month. The Buddy Walk is behind us. This is my last Friday post for Down Syndrome Awareness Month. I hope you've learned something and enjoyed peeking into our lives.

Please visit my Facebook page for daily tidbits about Down syndrome during Down Syndrome Awareness Month.

SUPPORT for Breastfeeding!

On Thursday, bloggers from around the world came together in a show of support for breastfeeding mothers. New mothers have enough challenges without having to feel guilty for how they feed their baby, especially when they are choosing the most natural of means - breastfeeding.

2 month old Sasha at my breast, swaddled

Over the last few days there has been a lot of heated debates, controversial posts, and social media outcry against the position that the Weston A. Price Foundation takes on breastfeeding. While they do present sound information on the ideal diet for breastfeeding mothers, they do so in a manner that brings about guilt, fear and confusion.

No Pressure

Welcome to the Breastfeeding Support Blog Party! Bloggers around the world have gathered together to share posts which provide current or soon-to-be breastfeeding mothers with a wealth of well-researched information, personal stories, and statistics designed to help you have the most successful breastfeeding experience possible. Be sure to scroll to the bottom of this post to learn more about this movement as well as to link to and read more informative breastfeeding support posts.

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I really like the ideas behind child led introduction to solids. I give Spencer some of whatever we're eating. He may or may not manage to chew and swallow much, that depends on what we have and how much he likes it. This gives me another reason to appreciate child led weaning. Some days, especially if Spencer naps through a mealtime, he doesn't get offered much food. Since Spencer is still getting most of his nutrition from breastmilk, I'm not pressured to worry over what, how much, and in what balance of food he actually ingests. I know Spencer is getting what he needs, regardless of what and how much he eats.

Sasha loves cantaloupe! (at 7mo and still at 3½yo)
Spencer just tried cantaloupe last night, wish I'd taken pics!

When Spencer has been sick, breastmilk is the easiest thing to keep down. It is nutrition and hydration, all in one. It can't be beat! I once asked a doctor if I needed to give my sick baby a pediatric electrolyte drink. He said that it couldn't beat breastmilk and to just keep doing what I was doing!

Spencer, waiting to see the Endocrinologist

The comfort of child led weaning is also important to me. Spencer has several extra medical appointments for health problems. Sometimes the procedures are unpleasant or Spencer just doesn't like people messing with him. I always have the most comfort-providing activity / comfort food available to him. Sometimes I even nurse him while a doctor checks him. It keeps him still and content. Nothing else would be as soothing, not even being held by me.

I am so thankful that I've been able to nurse all of my children. I am thankful for their health. And I am thankful for the bond provided by nursing my babies.

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This gathering of breastfeeding support comes in response to the Weston A. Price Foundation’s (WAPF) continued stance on breastfeeding, with which we all have great concern. While the WAPF does support breastfeeding as the best option for feeding babies, it does so with a caveat. Breastfeeding mothers must follow the strict tenants of the WAPF diet and mothers who are not following their nutrient dense diet recommendations would be better off feeding their babies homemade formula (based on the WAPF recipe). In addition, they are outspoken against using donor milk.

The bloggers sharing posts today are concerned with the confusion this may cause breastfeeding mothers. Not only does research support the myriad of health benefits of breast milk for babies regardless of the mother’s diet, it also outlines additional benefits of breastfeeding such as better bonding, deeper trust, and a long list of other emotional benefits. Let’s not forget the health benefits for moms!

We will have a complete list of all the blog posts published today (as part of this Blog Party) in a separate post on Sunday, March 31st. We welcome you to join this blog party by linking up your own new and previously published posts which focus on any positive aspect of breastfeeding and breast milk. Please enter using the Linky Tool which can be found at Hybrid Rasta Mama, Cooking Traditional Foods, Whole New Mom, Alternative Parenting, or African Babies Don’t Cry. (All links will be subject to moderation. Any link not following the spirit of the Blog Party will be removed.)

Breastfeeding has been Downhill

Welcome to the August edition of Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival: Breastfeeding.

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival hosted by The Positive Parenting Connection and Authentic Parenting. As August is Breastfeeding awareness month, our participants are writing about this exact subject! Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.


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I hadn't announced until the day my first was born that I planned to breastfeed her. My stepmother was a little annoyed that she hadn't been informed. The funny thing was that she and my dad each picked out a t-shirt for me that afternoon... not thinking about the breastfeeding factor. (You just wore button up shirts to breastfeed back then.)

Boundaries & Nursing

Nursing Limits was my last update on my nursing relationship with Sasha. At that time, I was allowing Sasha to nurse for 15 minutes at bedtime and 10 minutes for naps. She has since dropped naps almost entirely. She only takes a nap when she needs one. Usually that means she falls asleep on her own.

At bedtime... I found myself fighting not to short change her time. If 15 minutes was really 13-14, I went ahead and dropped it to 10. Then that got dropped incrementally until it was 5. We also started using a set bedtime every night. I hate schedules, so I have been really amazed at how well that has worked! We started with 9 o'clock, but I soon discovered she was ready to sleep at 8 o'clock! On days when she naps, I let her stay up a little later.

It was difficult to find a balance of meeting her needs as well as my own boundaries. We stuck with 5 minutes for a while. A few times her latch hurt so I'd have her stop to re-latch. She would usually let go, then just hold my nipple in her mouth.

Now, we're not even counting minutes. She got to where she'd only nurse for about 20 seconds, then she'd switch to just pressing her open mouth against my breast. I don't even think you could call it holding the nipple. She doesn't even touch it.

I've been obsessively wanting to make it to her 3rd birthday, but wasn't sure I could stand it. Our current system looks more like this: I hold her while she has my breast available to hold in her mouth (which she does) while I sing 2 lullabies. They're short, though I don't get the same aversion feelings anymore. Then I tuck her into bed and sing 1 more lullaby while stroking her hair. She has definitely mastered going to sleep on her own, though she usually wants a drink of water at some point.

Her birthday is next month! We'll make it and then I plan to ease her off the breast entirely. I feel a bit more confidence that we'll manage it with minimal trauma. We'll discuss it and probably switch to holding and singing or maybe to reading a book. While I love the idea of bedtime reading, I feel like holding and singing is more... bonding.

There are so many different tactics and approaches to weaning (or not). Take what works for you. Try different things. My biggest advice is not to discount your own boundaries. If you hate every second of nursing, that isn't a healthy situation for you or your nursling. I have definitely survived some very unhealthy nursing sessions! Meanwhile, Spencer is still EBF at 7 months old now.

I no longer offer the breast for booboos. Come to think of it, it doesn't even occur to me anymore. She doesn't ask for Mommy Milk all day anymore and I no longer feel guilty for nursing Spencer in front of her. These are all wonderful outcomes from setting my boundaries. We must value our own comfort level. Meeting our babies' needs doesn't have to have to come at such a great cost.

Please, for World Breastfeeding Week, share with me tales of your own gentle (or not so gentle) weaning experiences.

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I’m celebrating World Breastfeeding Week with Natural Parents Network!

You can, too — link up your breastfeeding posts from August 1-7 in the linky below, and enjoy reading, commenting on, and sharing the posts collected here and on Natural Parents Network.

(Visit NPN for the code to place on your blog.)

Mamatography - Week 29

Day 197

(07/15/12)

After staying up way too late Saturday night and not getting enough sleep... Not only was a photograph the last thing on my mind, I wouldn't want a reminder of that friggin' day! It was awful!

Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex

We talk a lot about nursing. We discuss extended breastfeeding, tandem nursing, nursing through pregnancy, nursing aversions, weaning, etc. Well here is a new one to me. Some women experience dysphoria during let down. It is not the same aversion, nausea, or even postpartum depression with which we've become familiar. It is Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex, also known as D-MER.

To understand the reflex you must know that when a milk release is triggered prolactin levels begin to rise even before milk has begun to flow through the breasts. Dopamine helps control the secretion of prolactin and so dopamine levels must lower briefly for prolactin to rise. Once prolactin has begun it's slow climb, dopamine stabilizes. This happens to every lactating mother.

Dopamine is known for having an effect on moods and in a mother with D-MER dopamine is behaving somehow inappropriately in its drop. It is in this very quick and immediate drop that a mother with D-MER feels her dysphoria. As dopamine levels restabilized, the dysphoria is gone.

~D-MER.org

This problem is not new to the world, but it is newly recognized. If you have this problem, you should research it and get help from your doctor.

• D-MER.org
• International Breastfeeding Journal - Dysphoric milk ejection reflex: A case report
• Kelly Mom - Depression or other negative emotions upon milk let-down

This link from KellyMom is only a couple months old. You know if they haven't had it, the information really must be new! There isn't much on LLL yet, either.

There IS help, this IS treatable. Your doctor may not even be familiar with it yet, so be prepared with resources. There are some natural remedies as well, including placenta encapsulation.

Many women wean earlier than they planned because they can't make peace with their negative feelings when nursing. These women do not realize they are not alone. My heart goes out to these women, one a dear friend of mine, who are dealing with this problem. I'm glad my friend figured it out and got help. I want to help get the word out to other mothers so they can know, too, that they are not alone.

Tandem Nursing - Magic Cure?

Welcome to the Carnival of Tandem Nursing

This post was written for inclusion in the Carnival of Tandem Nursing hosted by Mommying My Way. Our participants have shared their personal stories of the highs the lows and information on what to expect if tandeming is in your future. Please read to the end of each post to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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I had a very hard time breastfeeding and then dry-nursing my toddler through pregnancy. I was stubbornly determined to tandem nurse for one reason in particular: I'd read that tandem nursing can help ease the transition into being an older sibling. I had other reasons, of course, but this one was important to me.

This is where Sasha met Spencer
for the very first time.

Nursing Limits

Welcome to the Carnival of Weaning: Weaning - Your Stories

This post was written for inclusion in the Carnival of Weaning hosted by Code Name: Mama and Aha! Parenting. Our participants have shared stories, tips, and struggles about the end of the breastfeeding relationship.

When Spencer was born, I continued to let Sasha nurse all she wanted, but had to set limits as far as timing. I'd been warned several times to make sure to feed the newborn first. That task was nigh impossible! Sometimes they'd nurse 1 hour apart, so then who really nursed first?

Who nurses first if you're
literally tandem nursing?

Vacation Weekend with Volunteers / Friends

As you surely know by now, I volunteer on Natural Parents Network. Last October, we had a Volunteer Gathering. I've made some close friends with some of the volunteers, especially through late night chats! My daughter has even become close friends with the daughter of another volunteer. So we planned a family get-together between her family and mine. Joni Rae of Tales of a Kitchen Witch invited us to come stay with her family. My oldest daughter has become close friends with her daughter who has gone to stay with them for a couple of extended visits.

As it turned out, she and Dionna of Code Name: Mama were also working out plans for a visit. As we were working out how to align our dates for one larger get together, Amy of Presence Parenting jumped on board as well! It would be Spencer's first road trip!

It was about a 3 hour drive,
plus about 45 minutes worth of stops.

Sunday Surf: Giving away diapers, formula & diet changes

You will not find any TIME references here. There are lots of posts, I'm sure you've already seen plenty of them. Here are the links I'd like to share with you...

Fat Bottom Babies Giveaway

There are two prizes up for grabs. The first is 1 cloth diaper with 1 insert, 1 doubler and a 2oz tube of Bottom Soother. Tabatha (the local mom behind Fat Bottom Babies) is a friend of mine. Her diapers are well made AND adorable... and they don't look just like every other CD out there. Go win one and find out!

Here’s Some Formula Just In Case

I love the comparison this post gives... Imagine if you were given a divorce lawyer's card on your wedding day, "just in case." Yeah, how about the medical industry allows mothers some faith in their ability to breastfeed? Just give formula to them if they have trouble (or if they request it). Assume the normal option!

Musing on Elimination Diets

One of the links I posted last week was about changing your diet to battle [pollen] allergy problems. I do not like changing my diet. I'm married to a picky eater. Its a daunting task anyway. Well this article gives me permission not to change it! hahaha Seriously, though, there is some very good information here.

Review & Giveaway: Making Mama’s Milk Lactation Cookies

This is a joint giveaway with Momma Jorje and Natural Parents Network. You may enter at one site only. Please find the section marked "Win it!" for the mandatory entry and optional bonus entries.

Making Mama's Milk is offering our readers a giveaway of one month's supply of lactation cookies and a branded tote bag, a value of $65.

Making Mama's Milk & More is a small business started by a real mother that experienced milk supply problems herself. She wants to help other women avoid this pitfall of nursing relationships. They make their cookies by hand; no factory processing here!

From our reviewer, Jorje of Momma Jorje:

When Spencer was 1-2 months old, I was faced with a supply issue. I'd had an issue with Sasha, but eating a little oatmeal each day fixed the problem. This time, though, I tried lactation breakfast bars, oatmeal, lactation cookies, herbal supplements, drinking lots of water... nothing worked. I finally had to get donor milk. I actually felt a little guilty for volunteering to review this product, having little faith it would do anything for me.

Mamatography - Week 13

Day 85

(03/25/12)

Chillin' on the couch, checkin' out the thumb.

Doesn't this look uncannily like a shot from last week? He honestly doesn't do this too often.

Monday Minimalist: Breastfeeding Accessories

There was a dishwasher at our last residence. I started out pumping into and then even freezing 4oz bottles. They take up too much space! Besides, eventually you run out of bottles. I did finally get some bags for milk storage, but I still kept all my bottles. They were actually from when Sasha was an infant.

Then we moved into a Travel Trailer. I don't use 20+ bottles anymore. I donated all but about 9 bottles and gave a trial run to surviving with just 6. I soon decided I would survive just fine with 6 and donated the rest. I only kept enough screw tops and nipples for what I kept, too. I only kept 3 lids. I also donated a set of pumping breastshields that I didn't need. I have kept a spare set, though. I also kept all of my extra valves and membranes. They don't take up much space, could get lost or damaged, and this way I won't have to worry about replacing them.

This is my entire pumping / feeding kit.
It fits neatly into a cabinet.

What is more amazing is that I donated the pretty bottles. The plastic seemed thicker and so they took longer to warm milk, or at least that was my theory. I was surprised to find that hand-washing my cheap bottles made them more transparent! They'd become cloudy from only going through the dishwasher.

I've come close to having all 6 bottles dirty at once, but it is rare. My kitchen is very small. I do dishes 3-4 times per day to keep it clear.

How much stuff do you have for pumping and feeding your baby?
How much space does it take?

Let me know if you have a Monday Minimalist post and I'll share it on my blog.

Click the icon to grab the button for your MM posts or for details on how to join the movement.

Night Weaning - Week 3 of 3

Click here to read Week 1 of 3 and Week 2 of 3, if you haven't already.

Night 15

Despite sleeping in and having a decent nap, Sasha started crying for milk at 8:30. I was in the middle of getting Spencer to sleep, though. Then Sasha helped me make a batch of dough for Mama Jeeper's Oatmeal Lactation Breakfast Bars and we didn't finish until 10:30. She nursed, but not to sleep. We tried again an hour later, though she set her bear on Spencer, getting him started waking up.

She almost got to sleep on that second try. I find myself getting irritated when it doesn't work quickly, but I did let her nurse for only 5-10 minutes. I was hungry, too, and don't like to step out of our room for food when she is still awake.

The third try was a charm, but she didn't get to sleep until after midnight. I went to bed at about 1 and Sasha woke up shortly after 2. She settled really easily after going potty! Then she slept for... SEVEN hours!! Without help!

Sunday Surf: Parenting

I had such a beautiful and productive Saturday, despite having a toothache. Today, however, the kids (namely the toddler, as usual) is grating my nerves. An attempt to get a nap with Spencer (as the husband strongly suggested) resulted in a very short nap which just made my toothache worse.

I totally spaced Sunday Surf last weekend, so here are two weeks worth of links!

To praise or not to praise: Is that the question?

I've written before about not praising OR disciplining children, namely in my EC - No Praise / No Discipline post. The first time I heard Alfie Kohn (on DVD) talk about not praising kids, it made sense to me... or at least his reasoning did. Still, I felt a little lost about where to go from there. Click over to read a guest post from Amy Phoenix from Presence Parenting on Hobo Mama's blog. She went through the same confusion... but came out with some great explanations and tips for us!

Night Weaning - Week 2 of 3

Click here to read Week 1 of 3 if you haven't already.

Night 8

Sasha was asleep by about 9:15. She woke shortly before midnight. It didn't take long to settle her back down to sleep. She woke up again at 2. Then she slept through to 7:30. She asked nicely for milk... and the sun was up... I caved. I hoped she might go back to sleep, so I felt like I shouldn't cave. I felt pretty awful because I said no the day before at the exact same time. But then she didn't go back to sleep... so it really was good morning milk, even though we didn't call it that.

Night 9

Sasha had a nap! At about 3:30 in the afternoon. She asked for night night milk by 11, but was wide-eyed through nursing for about 10 minutes. She wound up sitting at the head of her bed and falling asleep, holding her bear. She was asleep by 11:30.

Night Weaning - Week 1 of 3

I am absolutely stubborn-headed against weaning my toddler. I am all for children leading the way on weaning, weaning themselves. However, sleep has become a major issue! Since moving (we think that is the starting point), Sasha has been waking every hour or two (or three, if I'm lucky!). She wants to nurse back to sleep every time. I don't have a problem nursing her back to sleep, its the waking so often that is killing me. She wakes up more often than Spencer!

So, we took her to the new pediatrician. I talked to my Natural Parenting mom friends. I talked to my older mom friends. I talked to Sasha's first pediatrician (our OB/Family doc). They all had pretty much the same advice: stop letting her have milk in the middle of the night. When the first doctor suggested it, my knee-jerk reaction was an emphatic no. However, as more and more people supported this idea... I had to consider it. One dear friend suggested I commit to trying for two weeks and then reevaluate.

Finally, I jumped into it one night, which is how I tend to do things. It was a Monday night (leading into what is my husband's Monday). That may not have been my best choice. She soon rolled over and called out "No" in her sleep.