Friday, November 16, 2012

Spencer has DS?

When Spencer was first born, we could pick out the markers for Down syndrome, but we really just saw our son. My friends also said they didn't think Spencer looked like he had Down syndrome. At first, it was reassuring. It was a good feeling. No parent wants their child to be identified by their afflictions. Then it seemed like every time I talked to a friend, I was hearing it. It started to bother me. It was as if rather than being identified by Down syndrome, Spencer was being identified by the fact that he didn't look like it. Eventually those comments died down.

A couple of months ago, for the first time, a "stranger" asked me if Spencer had Down syndrome. I think I took it in stride. She was a fellow mom in our local cloth diaper group. She noticed that Spencer looked like Noah, a fairly famous little boy that is kind of close to Spencer's age and also has DS. He is famous because of the blog Noah's Dad. This lead into a discussion of Spencer's health. As my regular readers know, Spencer has minimal health issues brought on by DS.


Since then I've had a few more people ask if Spencer has DS. I think they may have all had someone in their lives that had DS, so they were better "trained" to recognize the common traits. Still... it was becoming a little bit jolting. Yes, my son does have Down syndrome. I am not ashamed of him or his chromosomes. I just don't know if I was ready. It took me by surprise.

Now I find myself wondering if his DS markers will become more obvious as he gets older. Only time will tell. Whatever the case, I love my son more than I ever imagined! His care is not at all overwhelming. Down syndrome does not define him or my relationship with him.

Have you ever asked a person if they or their child had DS or some other affliction?

3 comments:

  1. I generally don't ask anyone anything about their children. I don't even like to ask if its a girl or boy if they are in ambiguous clothes. I was probably different before I had kids, but afterwards all of the barrage of questions started to get on my nerves, so I tend to act in the opposite way now. Actually, I don't think I actually ask people questions about their kids as much as I ask the kids questions just to engage them.

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  2. First, this is just such a lovely post (and a lovely blog: I look forward to exploring it more). Second... after 10 years of motherhood, I start to think I've stopped being surprised by the extent of intrusive questions people will ask a parent about--and in front--of their child--but every time I think that... Good for you for taking it in stride. And much to love you to your beloved boy.

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