Friday, July 1, 2011

Where's Jorje?

While I do love the Where's George program, this isn't it. No Sunday Surf? No Monday Minimalist? No Wordless Wednesday? No full pregnancy updates so far? What gives?

As you all know by now, my mother passed last week. No, I'm not sinking into a pit of despair. I'm actually doing fairly well as far as that goes. However, I haven't posted a detailed pregnancy update in some time because it has already been a roller coaster and I'm not even quite out of the first trimester just yet.

I started out at my local Indian clinic. I got a bunch of tests and saw my midwife twice. On the second visit, I was informed I failed the 3 hour glucose test and was being transferred to an OB at the University of Oklahoma high risk clinic. I went for my first appointment there and met the resident and doctor that would supposedly be handling my case. Only they saw I was being sent over as diabetic... that meant this was an unnecessary(?) stop on my way to the Diabetic OB Clinic. Great, MORE medical staff to meet.

I went for my U/S for Nuchal Translucency and dating on the pregnancy. The midwife thought the heart tones were awful clear for our dating. The U/S confirmed we were still on schedule, due in early January. However, she was unable to get the NT measurements because we were still a bit early for that.

nuchal translucency ulrasoundUltrasound / Nuchal Translucency
Photo Credit

I had my first Diabetic OB Clinic appointment. I have never felt so much like a single head in a herd of cattle in my entire life! We were ushered in, as a group of about 10 pregnant women, their kids, and some of their partners or friends. We sat in the staff break room to listen to a social worker talk about stress reduction and keeping a positive attitude to help keep our blood sugar on track. I really didn't need the speech. Also, I was in a bit of a hurry because immediately afterward I needed to go identify my mother's body which would be waiting in the crematory for my word.

At every turn, despite telling people I was in a rush and receiving their sympathy, it seemed like we kept getting pushed back. Until finally my doctor called me back to do my U/S herself. They were going to try again for the NT measurements. She was trying to get us processed faster. She turned from the machine to face me and informed me "this is not a good day for you." I thought she was still having trouble and I rattled off about how we could come back on another day if that was needed and she stopped me. That wasn't what she meant. Our NT looked bad.

I still started to brush it off... these things happen all the time and mean nothing. Our NT looked really bad. So there I was, laying in this dark room, holding my husband's hand while he held Sasha... with tears rolling down my face. You know what I wanted? I wanted to call my mommy. That hit me pretty hard. I knew she'd have something positive and supportive to say. Elmo held it together for me, feeling some relief just from helping me.

We met the genetic specialist and got some papers to read about two possible genetic disorders that could effect our child (Down's Syndrome and Turner Syndrome). We got a brochure about amniocentesis. We still hadn't even seen the doctor, had the NT blood test done, and I still had to get blood drawn in the lab. We were at the clinic for 2½ hours. We were LATE.

I did eventually make it to the funeral home. That was the shortest, easiest part of my day. The man there was very nice. I went into the back by the crematory. He lifted the big cardboard lid and as soon as I saw her face, I confirmed her identity. He closed the box and I left. The fires were going before we got out of the parking space.

The Diabetic OB Clinic people did tell me that they would try to get me in with one of the two high risk doctors because they were wanting me to come in every Thursday morning... which is the only day my husband can visit his other daughter. They succeeded!

So Thursday this week I went to see the high risk doctor at the Diabetic OB department (though not during their clinic time). I continue to lose weight each week, 5 pounds since just last week. My A1C, however, was a measly 5.4! That is SO normal! A friend wonders if perhaps I'm hypoglycemic instead of diabetic. All my other test results were good, including my NT blood test. We got to hear the baby's heart again. FHR was 149 today.

I asked about camping since the heat nauseates me a bit. Doc said he doesn't recommend that anyone spend any more time outside that absolutely necessary. It is hard to stay hydrated in this hot weather. (We're having record highs in the mid 100's this week.) No problem, I feel like I have a doctor note to stay in the A/C now!

One other thing, though, the doctor told me I needed to quit breastfeeding. I stopped looking at him at all. He wasn't in front of me anyway, but my husband could sense the hatred radiating from me and could see that the doctor felt it, clearly. He said he was taught that you can't do it. He also changed his story to say that he suggested I stop. He, of course, couldn't force me.

I was worried he'd convinced my husband that we had to stop for the health of our unborn child. However, when the doc stepped out of the room my husband was very supportive and doesn't feel that Sasha would have any part of weaning! He suggested perhaps cutting back on day time nursing, but doesn't imagine it would be at all possible at night. I think a lot of our day time nursing is comfort suckling rather than actual nursing.

Elmo doesn't want me to try to change doctors again over this. The other doctor may be of the same mind anyway. I really appreciated his support, though, and his trying to seek a middle-ground. No way are we weaning right now! I know this can be done. I have got to stop losing weight, though, if at all possible. I didn't start losing until I changed to a diabetic diet. I may have to eat more than every two hours, too. And maybe change snacks to small meals more often.

So... we've been having a rough time. Plus my dear friend from Colorado arrived on Sunday evening to stay through the week with me. This has turned into a vacation week. I am SO glad for the distraction. It has been wonderful to just hang out, watch movies, cook together, etc. We usually only have a couple of days together. She got to hear the baby's heart today with us. A sound she had never heard.

AmniocentesisAmniocentesis
Photo Credit

We have 5 more weeks to wait for our Amniocentesis (which will also identify the baby's sex). We're trying to remain positive and remember that this (NT results) really could have been nothing. The baby could be FINE. Apparently if there is a problem, it is most likely Turner Syndrome. We'll see. I also don't have to go every week since my sugar log looks good. I go back in two weeks.

Please send healthy thoughts for our baby. I should be back on schedule next week, folks.

5 comments:

  1. Ahhhh mama! Wow! Just when I thought my plate was full and that life was working against me, I read your post and remember that there are others out there with greater challenges than mine at the moment. I wish you so much love and so many blessings for that sweet baby in your belly. You are a strong woman. Seriously. I would unravel where you are holding the space and staying present for your family. I pray that everything continues on smoothly for you and your baby. You will be blessed!

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  2. Good lord. I'm so sorry. I can't believe how many things just keep piling up for you. I am hoping so much that all these tests end up being false alarms and you can have some sort of peace between now and then.

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  3. Good Heavens! What a bunch of news in such a short period of time! Sending healthy, healing energy your way.

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