Friday, March 2, 2012

I Hate You

We all lose patience, I know its true. And these days, society uses the term hate so willy-nilly. Shoot, if someone tells me they're having a fancy cupcake I might tell them I hate them. At the very least, I might say "I hate you right now."

So then what happens when we're losing patience? (Note: All this happened after Sasha claimed to be ready for bed and nursed for about 3 minutes.) Sasha says she wants a bite. OK. She hasn't been eating very well so I'm happy to oblige. I want to help her find something, anything that she'll eat... aside from more junk food / snacks.

What do you want to eat? She shows me the chair where he booster seat usually sits. No, that is not food. What do you want to eat? "Puppy Dog" What do you want to eat?

Peanut butter? She answers in high pitched barks. "Yes please or No thank you?" She does not want peanut butter. We finally agree on yogurt. Yay! Now we're getting somewhere! I show her blueberry and strawberry / banana. Which yogurt do you want? She wants the puppy dog (stuffed animal) to have the blueberry and she'll have the strawberry / banana. I finally get her to understand that she can have one or the other and she chooses blueberry.

1yo Sasha with YogurtSasha (11 mo) enjoying Yogurt

Alright! We're good! We go all the way to the other end of the house, into our living space and she has a bite of blueberry yogurt. When I offer a second bite, she announces that she wants strawberry / banana. The first thought that springs to mind? "I hate you."

I know that if I don't follow her out of our room, she'll get loud. Daddy and Brother are both asleep in our room. I don't want to encourage her to do this with foods, but I also want her to eat! I also do not want her to wake our boys. So... she leads me to the refrigerator. I get her new yogurt, pausing to put the other one in a bowl to save for another time. "I hate you right now."

There was a time, when she was less understanding, that I might have said this out loud. I don't hate her. Ever. But I do get frustrated. Oh boy do I get frustrated!

And you know what? She still only ate one bite of the strawberry / banana yogurt, too.

What thoughts aren't you sharing with your kids? Or is your filter turned off?


  1. Oh, Jorje - I feel you. You did everything you could to let Sasha be empowered to choose and have her bite and go to sleep - and then it felt like it was for nothing. . . I feel you. I have found that to combat moments like these, I set firm limits about asking for food after meals/snacks. If Abbey doesn't eat, she's done eating for that time period (I'll save her food in the fridge if I think that she will ask to eat again, but I won't get out new food for her). Sounds like sweet Sasha just really wanted to not go to bed! And I feel you in those moments too!

    I'm pretty awful at keeping my emotions to myself, but I try to be gentle. "You're irritating mommy" is usually as far as it goes, but there are definitely times when I want to scream "I hate you right now!"

    We have to remember that we are human.

  2. I am working REALLY hard on only going so far as "I am feeling really frustrated right now! It is really hard for me to help you if you won't be clear with me." But, I am not very successful.

  3. I had that thought running through my head multiple times tonight after being kicked, pushed, and having my hair pulled for about an hour by a little one who did not want to go to sleep. I hate thinking it and I wouldn't say it but it is that knee jerk response...

    Really, really appreciate you sharing your own experience with this as I've been feeling none to happy with myself this evening!


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