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We practice Elimination Communication. It seems odd to call it that with Sasha anymore, since she has been out of diapers for about a year. She literally tells us when she needs to potty, so there are no "signs" for which we must watch. We're also doing Elimination Communication with Spencer.
A lot can effect babies and toddlers as far as communicating their needs, including elimination needs. When we moved in October, Sasha was suddenly making puddles everywhere. We knew she was capable of getting to her potty or telling us she needed to go, but we had miss after miss after miss.
Moving, especially into a house with other people, is a huge change. Change effects everyone. Noticing when she needed to "go" was just one way this major life change effected Sasha. After about 2 weeks, things got back to normal for us and we only had occasional misses, mostly very near the potty.
Children practicing Elimination Communication can also have hiccups when they are concentrating on learning a new skill. You might not even realize at first that they are working on something new. After a week or two (when things hopefully get back to normal for you), you may realize that your child's vocabulary has sprouted. Perhaps they now know how to skip or can hold a crayon better.
It can be tough, but don't get mad about puddles. It isn't anyone's "fault" that you had a miss. I don't even like to call them accidents. When we have several misses in a day or two, I try to remember that my toddler is dealing with some sort of change. It might be to her environment or it might be within herself. That helps me to stay calm and chipper about it. Thankfully, all of our misses since our most recent move have been on linoleum rather than carpet.
What reactions has your child(ren) had to change?
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Visit Hybrid Rasta Mama and the Fabulous Mama Chronicles to find out how you can participate in the next Fabulous Hybrid Carnival! Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
- Unschooling My Heart - Patti at Canadian Unschooler discovered that Unschooling her kids was EASY compared to the bigger change required to Unschool her heart.
- Change (Variety) - Rachel at Lautaret Bohemiet writes about how variety is the spice of life.
- No More Threats - Amy at Presence Parenting flips the idea of parental control through threats on its head, for good.
- Why Are You Mad??? Turn Off the T.V and Meditate - Destany of They Are All of Me discusses limiting stress by focusing more on your Inside self.
- Co-ed Sleepovers? Changing My Mindset – Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama takes a hard look at her previous beliefs about sleepovers.
- Change Can Mean Puddles - Jorje of Momma Jorje has had to clean up some puddles after major changes.
- On Acceptance - Laura at Authentic Parenting writes about how she ditched the constant longing for change and came to accept herself as she is.
- Blissed Out on Birth, Drunk on Baby Skin - Melissa from Mothers of Change passionately explores the changes she would like to see come to the maternity care system, and our universal love of the smell of a newborn baby.
- Changing My Mindset, One Challenge at a Time - Wolfmother at Fabulous Mama Chronicles speaks candidly about her challenges in changing how she parents.
- Because Mommy Said No - Dawn of Raising Natural Kids discusses the use of a common phrase that makes Mommy out to be the bad guy when, in reality, she is making decisions out of love.
- Through Adversity We Grow - Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children chooses to take a positive view on change and growth.
- Life is Change - Rae of Ital Livin' writes about the large changes her family has made within the last year.constant in life.
- A Changing Voice - Jennifer at Our Muddy Boots discusses how in order to grow change is unavoidable. That does not mean the process is easy though.
- Being. Changing. Believing. - Amy at Me, Mothering, and Making It All Work reminisces on the changes that have shaped her adult life thus far, and molded her into an adaptable, but still type-A, believer in change.
- Motivating Change In The Face Of Apathy - Brenna at Almost All The Truth is asking the question many of us who actively work to change the world ask ourselves: how do we get people to care?
- She Changes Everything She Touches - Change is the only thing we can count on in life, and Jen in Canada examines some of the biggest things she'd like to tackle before the birth of her second child.
We did not really practice EC so this was interesting to read about. I know that as my daughter started using the potty on her own, we had a lot of misses during times of change in our normal routine. I think bathroom habits are the first thing effected by change.
ReplyDeleteThe concept of how change effects our children is a really good one to consider further. Often times, parents forget their children’s feelings during times of change. They are so busy settling into the change themselves that they overlook whatever is going on for their children.
I love that you were so in tune to Sasha and that you helped her handle her reaction to change!
Thanks for the wonderful post and for participating in our first Carnival!
We also practiced EC. When my son was 1 and was going 100% in the potty, we moved in with my MIL, then we spent several months on trips to see my FIL who had a stroke, then we went to a family reunion... all of the changes made Bennett hate the potty. The change affected him in a way that made him want to take control, and potty was one thing that HE could control. It was really hard for me, but I had to give up control in that way, and give it to him. He started pottying in his diaper, and it was a huge bummer for me after a successful first year! But, I think it was important to him at the time to be able to control something in the midst of a life that had (in his opinion) spun out of control. He is now almost two and seems to handle changes fairly well. We'll see how this summer of travel affects him.
ReplyDeleteGreat post. Thanks for writing it!
Yes! I haven't done EC with any of my kids (well, I tried with #3 and #4 but just found it stressful so we stopped, so I haven't successfully done it), but definitely I have found all four of them to have toileting misses when they experience either a developmental milestone or a big adjustment. Even going back to school after summer holidays can mean 'accidents' for my 7 year old! It just takes some adjusting. And patience. =)
ReplyDeleteAh, yes, change and EC - change and LIFE! It seems that change affects everyone uniquely and sometimes similarly. I kind of experience it as a mixing or shaking up of what we're used to so that which is can just be. Sometimes stuff has to move out of the way and that looks like things being different than we're used to. New doors open.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate that you don't call them accidents. We don't either. I just call it what it is. The child peed or pooped. It doesn't really matter where. Sure the point is to get it in the proper receptacle, but ultimately the child and spot need to be cleaned up, that is that, and we move on. They all get it in their own time and the example of handling change in stride is definitely an example that kids can benefit from. :)
We had intended to practice EC but the level of commitment it required was too much for me to handle after my birth experience so we cloth diapered instead. I love reading about other family's EC experiences because I would love to try again with our next child right from birth. On another note, I noticed with my son after my husband deployed that he regressed on a few different things because of the anxiety it caused among other big changes in our life like moving and staying with relatives. It is important to be empathic towards children at this time especially because they are already feeling overwhelmed and those 'accidents' or regressions are signs that they need extra support, not scoldings/ire. I'm sure I'll have my share of 'misses' once my son chooses to try using the toilet!
ReplyDeleteAww. EC is one very rare parenting tool I ever found that could truly work in a part time sense. I was working full time when I started EC with Sasha and I was the only one doing it with her. Anyway, I hope you DO try it with your next baby!
DeleteAnd yes, that must have been some major adjustment for him! Always better to simply treat our children with kindness... it just takes some thought sometimes when the action causes us inconvenience.