Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Everyone Misses Sleep

The Taboo Carnival
Welcome to the Taboo Carnival. Our topic this Spring is “I Miss My Life!” This post was written for inclusion in the quarterly Taboo Carnival hosted by Momma Jorje and Hybrid Rasta Mama. This month our participants reflect on life before and after motherhood and “missing” some of the aspects of life without children. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.


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Ask 100 (or hundreds) of parents (especially moms) what they miss most about pre-baby days and the #1 answer is going to be sleep. It isn't just sleep I miss, though. I miss being able to roll around and lay on this side or that side or on my belly whenever I want. See, if I sleep with my back to my baby I don't wake as fast. Then I have to spend more time getting him settled back to sleep. And the other sleep thing that I miss a lot, that seems so ridiculous and yet I think of it often, is sleeping with the covers pulled up over my ears. I like to have the comforter pulled up almost over my head. I can't cover my ears to sleep now because I have littles I need to hear.

Another common answer has to do with the time we had with our partners pre-baby. Yep, I miss that, too. I miss being able to go get on the Harley and take my husband boyfriend for a ride whenever we wanted to go. We fondly recall those times when we happen upon an old favorite path. I miss being able to drop anything and have sex in any room at any time of day. We really have to work at finding the time and space as well as seizing opportunities when they arise.

Momma Jorje's Harley Davidson

I don't resent my children for it. It isn't like its their fault! I wouldn't change the choices I made. I love my children. I even love them when I wake with a crick in my neck or shoulder from sleeping in an awkward position. I even love them when I'm chasing them at the zoo on a beautiful day instead of feeling the wind in my hair. But that doesn't change the "missing it" feeling...

I don't usually share these feelings with friends because I'm afraid that 1) they'll misunderstand and 2) they don't understand our choice (and not-so-choice) not to use sitters. I have friends that leave their kids and go out, even AP friends! We don't have that option, really, which I know is part personal choice.

What do you miss from your pre-baby life?



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Visit Momma Jorje and Hybrid Rasta Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Taboo Carnival! Enjoy the posts from this month’s Carnival participants!


  • 10 Drastic Differences Between Life Before and After Becoming A Mother — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama compares her life before and after becoming a mother and muses on why it is pretty incredible despite never having a moment alone.

  • Sometimes — ANonyMous @ Radical Ramblings reflects on the things she misses about being childless, despite the fact she wouldn't change her decision to become a mother for anything.

  • The Baby Moon is Over — Mercedes at Project Procrastinot remembers her babymoon and misses the simplicity of being a wife before children.

5 comments:

  1. Ummm, yes! Me, too! I miss stretching out in bed. What I would give to have THREE HOURS of sleep alone in a bed, with as many pillows as I wanted, all stretched out! I don't resent my babes either, but it sure would be nice!

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  2. Yes, the sleep thing is a big one! I can relate to many of the others...except I've never been on a motorcycle. ;)

    It's funny that you mention using sitters. Jaymz and I have only been out a handful of times without Daniel, but for us those times have been necessary for our sanity (as I'm sure you can imagine). What eases my mind (and heart) is knowing he's with another adult who he's securely attached to, and who will wear/rock/bounce him as much as he needs to get through the time apart from us. I'm so grateful for our AP/unschooling nanny!

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    Replies
    1. I have finally stumbled into a LOCAL AP Group on FB! I'm trying to connect with more people, so maybe I'll get to that point. But right now... I can think of one local NP/Gentle Parenting acquaintance, but she has several kids of her own. If its not the AP/NP thing, its the distraction thing. I want my kid(s) to basically have undivided attention if they have to be apart from us. And even then... no one knows my babies like *I* know my babies. Ya know? Sigh. Its a tough spot.

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  3. Uh, yes. Simple as that. My life isn't any different than yours. Except that I only have one child!

    ReplyDelete

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