My mother and I had our spats. There were phases of my life when I rarely spoke with her, despite living only a few miles apart. She was, however, an amazing Gran.
When Tyler was born, my mother helped me debate and prepare my argument against vaccinations. She ultimately asked me very hard questions that I needed to be able to answer. The biggest and one that I always remember... She asked if I didn't have Tyler vaccinated and she caught one of the vaccine diseases and died, what would that do to my marriage and was I prepared to face these possible consequences. Tyler's father never did agree with me on vaccines, but he was less willing to be wrong than I was. My mother helped me to be strong in my convictions about vaccines. Sometimes I find this extra amazing specifically because she suffered from Polio as a child and Post Polio Syndrome for much of her adult life.
Gran could also think of the most amazing and original enrichment ideas for my babies! She had a doorway jumper there for Tyler. She bought a planter base (big plastic dish) to place under Tyler and we would put rice or water in it. Tyler would wiggle her toes through different textures... amazing! I actually have a photograph of Tyler playing with a package of spaghetti... another sensual exploration. She always had healthy food available to offer to little ones (and big ones) for snacks.
My mother and I were closest during my pregnancies. She was with me when I got the positive for Tyler. She drove me to many appointments. She was waiting down the hall when Tyler was born.
She bought many things for Sasha and I during that pregnancy. I don't know how I would have gotten through gestational diabetes without her! And for the first time ever, she attended a birth. We weren't sure where she would fit since she rode a scooter. She wound up stuck back in a corner of the room but it turned out to be a perfect view. She was supportive during that, my longest labor. And when Sasha was born, my mother had tears. She was so amazed and proud. Her children had to be taken via cesarean section. She was in awe of the natural process.
She absolutely nurtured and inspired my crunchy side. She believed in being very involved in your health care. She taught me how to return anything... and even said I surpassed her skills! She was never too proud to learn from her children.
I am sad that Sasha will not remember her Gran, but pleased we have photos of them together. I am sad that our next child will not know Gran at all. I hope, however, that I can keep with me my mother's knack for enriching her grandchildren's lives. She was such a clever woman! (She kicked butt at Scrabble and Pente!)