Friday, May 4, 2012

"Good Baby"

I always thought I had good babies... My first born seemed easy enough. That was a long time ago, though, so I can't comment with any real detail. People will warn not to tempt fate. If you have a good baby, you may be cursed with some sort of not-so-good baby the next time around.

When my second daughter, Tyler, was born, I would say she was a good baby, too. Then I had Sasha, another good baby. And now I have Spencer. He is such an awesomely good baby! Then I realized...

With Tyler, I had such a handbag of tricks I had to use to get her to sleep at night. I would stand, hold her, nurse her, sing to her, and rock or eventually pace the hallway back and forth. For an hour. Gee, that doesn't sound like a good baby.

Then Sasha cried a lot at night. I'd be up for hours, nursing, rocking, crying, begging... I swear that girl would stay up all night. That doesn't sound like a good baby, either, does it? I never saw her as anything but good.

Spencer, my dreamy little boy with Down syndrome. That sounds like a difficulty to say the least, right? Alas, a little milk, a little bouncing on my shoulder maybe, and he is down at a decent hour. He'll sleep 4-8 hours in this first stretch, and then sleep 4-8 more depending on how long the first stretch was. What a good baby!

So you know what a "good baby" is? Convenient. A bit of an epiphany there. I had really thought I might be tempting fate each time. I mean, could I really be so lucky as to have four good babies?! Why yes, I could! You can't expect babies to be convenient.

Babies are needy creatures by nature, to an extent. I was able to have four "good babies" because I expected them to need me. I expected to be inconvenienced. I expected to place their needs ahead of my own.

So I guess "good babies" are in the eye of the beholder. How have you fared on the "good baby" ratio? Have you ever known a baby that you could classify as anything less than "good?"


  1. why yes. I have a very good baby. :)

  2. Every time I've been asked if my baby is a good baby I say "There are no bad babies, only bad parents."

    But then, I'm a little judgemental. ;-)

  3. I loved this post.

    I've always thought it was an interesting question to ask "Is the baby good?" but I know what people mean when they say it so it never bothered me. (Though not much bothers me, I guess!)

    I think you nailed it: if a parent expects their child to NEED them, if a parent is prepared to be a bit sleep-deprived, and is prepared to sacrifice and is prepared to be on-call every single day - they will be able to see, feel and experience the goodness of a baby. A parent who believes that babies just lie around being happy, well, that parent is going to be in for a suprise and may end up missing the goodness and interpreting it as, for lack of a better word, badness.

  4. Ive never known what people mean when they ask, is he good? Are they wanting to know if he sleeps through the night? Never cries? What? I always answer yes, to placate them, because honestly I have no idea what a good baby or a bad baby is... I agree with Patti, there are no bad babies, just bad parents :)


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