Monday, May 28, 2012

I am an AP mom, regardless...

I Am Mom! Enough! Carnival buttonWelcome to the I Am Mom! Enough! Carnival hosted by Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama and Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children.

This Carnival is dedicated to empowering ALL parents who practice and promote a peaceful, loving, attachment parenting philosophy. We have asked other parents to help us show the critics and the naysayers that attachment parenting is beautiful, uplifting, and unbelievably beneficial and NORMAL!

In addition to the Carnival, Joni from Tales of a Kitchen Witch and Jennifer from True Confessions of a Real Mommy are co-hosting a Linky Party. Please stop by either blog to share any of your posts on the topic.

Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants. Post topics are wide and varied, and every one is worth a read.

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When I got pregnant 14 years ago, I knew I wanted to be at home with my child. I couldn't imagine leaving my baby with someone else for 8+ hours per day. I had just started a new job (literally interviewed within an hour after my pregnancy test!). So I worked hard to prove my worth during that first month and then I confessed to my boss, despite others' urging to wait an extra month.

My boss thought I was going to quit. We couldn't afford that. My 2nd choice for a solution, I told my boss I would love to work from home. He helped me with the process of becoming a corporation so he could contract the work out to me. I worked from home as an attachment parent for 8 years as my own corporation. I even had a few other clients along the way!

The view from my desk.Tyler - 2½ years old
The view from my desk.

I was a Work At Home Mom - and an Attachment Parent (though I didn't know there was a name for it). I breastfed her until she was 3½ years old. Its what worked for us. That is not what worked for my friends, partner or extended family. It is what worked for my daughter and myself.

Years later, in a new relationship, I found myself pregnant again. (I promise, I know what causes that!) I was working Full Time, my husband was working Part Time, and I took on an extra Part Time job on the side as my mother's Home Health Aid so we could afford an expensive condo close to my mom, planning to have her and my sister help with the baby.

When Sasha was 6 weeks old, I had to return to work. I pumped my breastmilk so Daddy could feed her while I was gone. I came home on lunch breaks to nurse her myself. Eventually she went on a bottle strike and opted to wait for me to get home to feed her myself.

QA Cage at Work
My Cage for the first year of Sasha's life.

I was a Work Outside the Home Mom - and an Attachment Parent. This time I discovered the name for it! She is still nursing a few minutes every day at 2½ years old. It is what works for us.

Eventually, I dropped the Part Time job and we moved to a cheaper apartment. My Full Time job stress increased exponentially. We cut back enough expenses that I was able to drop the Full Time job and go back to the Part Time job as my mother's Home Health Aid. We also wanted to focus on conceiving a son.

Two months later my mother had a stroke. Her hospitalization left me laid off of work. Two days later we got our positive pregnancy test. Two months later, she passed away. For nearly a year, I would claim to be "unemployed." I now proudly claim to be a homemaker.

Homemaker Home OfficeMy new "home office."

I am a Stay At Home Mom - and an Attachment Parent. I have left Spencer once (with Daddy) since bringing him home... for maybe 30 minutes. Oh wait, I also leave him for 10-15 minutes when I walk to the laundromat. He is exclusively breastfed, other than when I had a supply issue. It is what works for us.

I have been a WAHM, WOHM, and a SAHM, always an Attachment Mom and Yes, I am Mom Enough! I am mom enough for each of my babies! AP is what has worked for us, regardless of income or job status.

Are you an Attachment Parent? Do you think you could still be an Attachment Parent if your circumstances changed?

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Thank you for visiting the I Am Mom! Enough! Carnival hosted by hosted by Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama and Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children.

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants and check out previous posts at the linky party hosted by Joni from Tales of a Kitchen Witch and Jennifer from True Confessions of a Real Mommy:

  • Good Enough? — Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy writes about how Good Enough is not Good Enough, if you use it as an excuse to stop trying.
  • The High Cost of High Expectations JeninCanada at Fat and Not Afraid shares what it's like to NOT feel 'mom enough' and wanting to always do better for herself and family.
  • TIME to Be You! — Becky at Old New Legacy encourages everyone to be true to themselves and live their core values.
  • I am mom and I have had ENOUGH — A mother had had ENOUGH of the mommy wars.
  • Motherhood vs. Feminism — Doula Julia at juliamannes.com encourages feminists to embrace the real needs and cycles and strengths of women.
  • There Is No Universal Truth When It Comes To Parenting — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama discusses how parenting looks around the world and why there is no universal parenting philosophy.
  • Attachment Parenting Assumptions — ANonyMous at Radical Ramblings argues that attachment parenting is not just for the affluent middle-classes, and that as parents we all need to stop worrying about our differences and start supporting each other.
  • Thoughts on Time Magazine, Supporting ALL Mamas, and Advocating for the Motherless — Time Magazine led That Mama Gretchen to think about her calling as a mother and how adoption will play an important role in growing her family.
  • Attachment Parenting: the Renewed Face of Feminism — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children embraces her inner feminist as she examines how the principles of attachment parenting support the equal treatment of all.
  • What a Mom Wants! — Clancy Harrison from Healthy Baby Beans writes about how women need to support each other in their different paths to get to the same destination.
  • Attachment Parenting: What One Family Wants You To Know — Jennifer, Kris, 4 year old Owen and 2 year old Sydney share the realities of attachment parenting, and how very different it looks than the media's portrayal.
  • We ALL Are Mom Enough — Amy W. of Amy Willa: Me, Mothering, and Making It All Work thinks that all mothers should walk together through parenthood and explores her feelings in prose.
  • A Typical Day Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment shares what a typical day with her attached family looks like...all in the hopes to shed light on what Attachment Parenting is, what it's not and that it's unique within each family!
  • The Proof is in the (organic, all-natural) Pudding — Kym at Our Crazy Corner of the World talks about how, contrary to what the critics say, the proof that attachment parenting works in visible in the children who are parented that way.
  • Time Magazine & Mommy Wars: Enough! What Really Matters? — Abbie at Farmer's Daughter encourages moms to stop fighting with each other, and start alongside each other.
  • Attachment parenting is about respect — Lauren at Hobo Mama breaks down what attachment parenting means to her to its simplest level.
  • I am an AP mom, regardless... — Jorje ponders how she has been an Attachment Parenting mom regardless of outside circumstances at Momma Jorje.
  • The first rule of Attachment Parenting is: You Do Not Talk about Attachment Parenting — Emily discusses, with tongue aqnd cheek, how tapping into our more primal selves actually brings us closer to who we are rather than who we think we should be.
  • Mom, I am. — Amy at Anktangle discusses how Attachment Parenting is a natural extension of who she is, and she explains the ways her parenting approach follows the "live and let live" philosophy, similar to her beliefs about many other areas of life.
  • I Breastfeed My Toddler for the Nutritional Benefits — Christine at African Babies Don't Cry shares why 'extended' breastfeeding is not extreme and how she is still nursing her toddler for the nutritional benefits.
  • I Am Dad Enough! — Attachment parenting does not only have to be about moms; their partners are just as important. In Code Name: Mama's family, Dionna's husband, Tom, is papa enough for lots of things.

7 comments:

  1. *Love* this story of your different roles, all while being an attached parent. I heard Mayim say that AP does not dictate what a parent does from 8-5. So true!!

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    1. Exactly! Your "job" (and whether you have one) doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if you make $160,000 per year or $25,000. It doesn't matter whether you were raised in a big family or a small one, had two parents or a divorced home... Anyone can be an attachment parent!

      I hate the "I don't have time..." and "only upper class women..." mentalities. Pfft.

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  2. What a wonderful way to illustrate how attachment parenting is more than a way of life, it's a state of mind. <3

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  3. Wow! I honestly had no clue that this is how life looked for you. You know what? You are MORE than mom enough. You are really freaking amazing AND you take all of this in stride. Your children are beyond lucky to have you. You make motherhood and all of its challenges seem like just another day…which they should be. Thanks for a look into your life. It is very encouraging!

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  4. I love how you shared how being AP works for all the different ways a mother works- in and out of the home!

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  5. AP is definitely about our relationships withour kids rather than our situations. Thank you for sharing how you have have managed to handle things in these different situations. It illustrates that concept so well.

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