How much time does it take to be an Attachment Parent?

This is how I start my day. I usually wake up before Sasha, when Daddy gets home from work. He gets home around 8:00 am or so. There for a bit, she was sleeping in late and we were staying up late at night together. Lately we have been on an earlier schedule. I leave for work just before 11:00 am. I come home for half an hour to eat lunch and nurse Sasha. Sometimes I have to run a quick errand after I get off work at 8:00 pm. Lately if I do that, Sasha usually falls asleep right after I get home. Tonight she fell asleep in Daddy's arms before I got home. And while I did nurse her when I got home, she is down for the night. I need a little time to unwind before bed, so she sleeps near me, on the floor.

Today it is really hitting me how little time I get with her through the week. We get around 3 hours in the morning. Then half an hour at lunch. If we're lucky, we get an hour or two at night. Sometimes her sleep schedule shifts, but I'd bet the actual time together doesn't change much. I just hadn't noticed as much when our larger chunk of time together was at night.

That is only 4-5 hours per day. That pains me! No wonder I long for her so much when we're apart! It is no wonder that I hold her constantly when I'm home! How do I still consider myself an attachment parent when I spend so little waking time with my baby?? We do sleep side-by-side and she does wake to nurse through the night. So we do get more close contact than that schedule lets on, but... this is no good.

Lately I find myself wondering if it would be an improvement to work in the middle of the night. I wouldn't be there for night nursing... and I'd surely have to nap during the day. Working is working is working. Full time is full time. I like being the bread winner of the family... and I feel that, for me, the time away from home keeps me from being a totally obsessed mother. I like to think it is good for all three of us. Days like today, though, I wonder.

Wordless Wednesday: Boxes Make the Best Toys

My Clever Girl with Long Locks

As you can see here, Sasha likes to climb into her toy basket. I'm sure she isn't the first toddler to do this. In fact, I don't think she is even my first toddler to do this! However, today she pulled a chair cushion over and put it into the basket. She made it more comfy... how clever! Daddy actually called me at work to tell me about it, figuring I could use the smile.



Now what you might also notice is how long her curls are getting. They are starting to reach her eyes. This has me thinking... what do I want to do about it? Do I just leave them and continuously push them out of her eyes? Do I get her first haircut? Already?! Do I try tiny barrettes? Then there are headbands. I really hate baby headbands. If you like them on your baby, go for it! I just feel like they are going to squish my poor baby's brains! I realize this is probably entirely illogical, but still... the thought is there. She isn't really a baby anymore, though. Her soft spot has already gotten much smaller since she was a newborn. As a side-note, I really suck at hair. I can braid stuff, but I cannot braid my own hair. I do alright with an older child's hair, but not great. What am I to do with Sasha's hair? What have you done with your toddler's hair?

Wordless Wednesday: 1 Year Portrait

This one makes me so happy!

More New Foods + Crawling + Water

Thanks very much to a recommendation from Hobo Mama, I ran out on Sunday morning to grab some YoBaby! I used the new suction cup bowls that Daddy picked out for us. I also offered Sasha the new baby spoon that I had found online and was pleasantly surprised to also find in the store. I love the bowls! Sasha immediately tried to pick the bowl up but it wouldn't budge! And the spoon guard kept her from shoving it down her throat. Whenever she did grasp the spoon, she would zoom it right into her mouth. She didn't seem too certain about the yogurt, but we'll try it again. We tried banana because she has already had bananas.

Today when I got home for lunch, Daddy showed me that he and Sasha have been working on her crawling. She can crawl with her legs, but her hands need more practice. Turns out, she can move forward with her left hand, but when she tries to lift her right hand it just keeps going up until she rolls over onto her back. If Daddy rests his hand on her back to keep her from going, she crawls just fine. Tonight I see that her little knees are irritated from all the practicing she has been doing. My poor baby. She so wants to crawl! I wonder if wearing her baby legs would make things any better or just worse.

Tonight I finally found a food that I like and feel is healthy and safe enough to offer to Sasha to try with me without much of any special treatment. I was standing in the kitchen, holding her, and munching on some cantaloupe. I held it up and let her move her mouth to it. It has gotten the best reaction of any food I have offered to her! She returned to it again and again, gnawing and sucking at it. Eventually I put some in her mesh feeder and let her have at it, but I am just still not sure about that thing. She was more interested in the cantaloupe directly.

Oh and water! I finally introduced water. I got this cute, handy sippy cup from Nuby when Sasha went on her bottle strike. She wouldn't take milk from it, either, but she does alright with water in it. I can also give her drinks of water from my water bottle, but seem to do best with a glass. I wonder how she'll do with a straw and I'm curious to try one soon.

Communication and Affection

When you reach your hands out to Sasha, she reacts in a way that fairly clearly communicates that she wants you to pick her up or take her from the person holding her. If she doesn't, she just doesn't react at all. She has a new way, though, of communicating without you offering first. Last night while we were sitting in the floor playing, she reached out to take my right hand. She pulled it to her and left it in her lap. Then she reached out to take my left hand and did the same. I got the distinct impression that she was trying to get my to take her... in my hands. Am I crazy? I thought it was adorable, of course!

Sasha doesn't give kisses very often. It seems that lately when you do kiss her, she immediately lowers her face. This kind of makes her forehead bump into you. Then very recently I noticed that she will lean forward. She presses her forehead to mine and then pulls back again. It seems... like affection. It is like "forehead love." Goofy term, I know. I mentioned it to Daddy and he confirmed, he does this with her all the time. He taught it to her! Then it made sense and I've noticed it more since then. He will lay in the floor facing her and press his forehead to hers. They pause there. It is such a sweet little display of affection. And while this still leaves two humans breathing on each others faces, it seems less germ-sharing than actual kisses. Either way, she seems to have chosen this display of affection over kisses for the most part.

Signing on the Potty

I started signing to Sasha when she was just a couple of months old. The signs that are suggested as first signs are milk, eat and more. However, they advise that you choose whatever you would use the most. Eat wasn't a good one for us because we started so young. I use milk, but not consistently enough. The one sign I have used most consistently is finished. (They recommend starting with three signs only.) I use it to ask Sasha if she is finished on the potty. I ask and sign, then answer back and sign. Sasha recognizes the sign now as meaning it is time to get off the potty. She responds by hopping a bit and putting her arms up. I am terribly pleased with this development, but it also urges me to sign more consistently. I need to use finished in more situations and add a couple more words that Daddy and I will both use often. I'm looking forward to adding a sign for potty, but I think it is too soon.

I am open to suggestions of words to sign! Anyone know the sign for teething ring? That might be a good one for us.

By the way, I recommend the DVD set linked above, though I don't recommend television for babies. I do feel better about television for babies if you're watching good programming with them. I also recommend this book that was really my start to baby signing. You can read my review of this book published on Hobo Mama's blog.