Mamatography 2013 - Week 10

Day 62 - March 3

I scarfed down leftover cupcakes the day after my party!
I learned this particular method from Cake Boss.

Tough Conversations

Welcome to the March 2013 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Tough Conversations

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have spoken up about how they discuss complex topics with their children. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

***

I'd like to just offer some pointers from my experience on some particular tough topics.

Photo Credit: Hobo Mama

Politically Correct Natural Parenting

Welcome to the Taboo Carnival. Our topic this Spring is RESPONDING TO THE NATURAL PARENTING COMMUNITY! This post was written for inclusion in the quarterly Taboo Carnival hosted by Momma Jorje and Hybrid Rasta Mama. This month our participants reflect on criticism of the natural parenting community both from those parents outside of it’s perceived borders as well as those inside the community itself. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

*******************************

While I agree that there are individuals within the natural parenting community whom are too lackadaisical or too militant, I think my larger issue is the very "politically correct" speech often offered, "to each their own." I agree that no one way of parenting is right for every child, not even within the same household. However, there are books/philosophies out there that have literally been deemed dangerous to babies! Every parent has a need to feel that they are doing it right, but more than that I think there are lots of parents out there doing it wrong! Are we not supposed to help them? And if we do try, are we merely seen like a fundamentalist trying to convert a heathen?

One tenet of NP: Wear your babies, keep them close

And so we write. And we talk. Just be open about your parenting choices and believe in them. Be approachable, without being too judgy. Be proud of your choices. But be honest, as well. Recognize that even the most "natural" of parents isn't perfect 24/7, so don't try to act like you are - within the community or without.


***

Visit Momma Jorje and Hybrid Rasta Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Taboo Carnival! Enjoy the posts from this month’s Carnival participants!

• Politically Correct Natural Parenting — Jorje of Momma Jorje doesn't want parents practicing Natural Parenting to walk on eggshells with other parents.
  
  
• Keep Your Labels — ANonyMous @Radical Ramblings discusses why she isn't comfortable with the label "natural parent" and urges us all to be a little more respectful and accepting.
  
  
• Finding a Happy Parent Place — A "circumstantial loner," Mercedes at Project Procrastinot enjoys her forays in to the Natural Parenting community while learning the ropes of mothering twins.
  

• Stop Bashing Each Other Already! — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama muses on why for her, "natural parenting" involves more work and why it would be more supportive to all parents if there wasn’t such a great divide based on parenting styles.
  
  
• Is there a No Sleep Solution? — Hannah at Hannahandhorn wonders when she will sleep again.
  
  
• On reason, research, and natural parenting — Lauren at Hobo Mama wishes reason and logic were valued more than gut feelings and instinct.
  

The Expense of Change

Join the Six Ingredient Challenge hosted by Hobo Mama and Anktangle!

We're on a six-week path to eat more whole foods, guided by one simple rule: Buy foods with six ingredients or fewer. And we're blogging about our journey on the way.

This week we're answering the question: How's your budget? What money-saving strategies have you been employing?

You can see all the responses to this question on March 7 at the link-up post.

To join in the Six Ingredient Challenge anytime during the six weeks, visit the sign-up page for a list of posts and to link up!

***

I really like to support local business, so I tend to buy Griffin's brand whenever I can. We used to buy the big jug of syrup and refill a container. Only... they use High Fructose Corn Syrup. Sigh. I was really bummed to learn this once I decided to cut HFCS out of our diets.

Have you looked at syrup? Yeah, a lot of it is made with HFCS! However, someone recommended Log Cabin Syrup. Log Cabin touts, "All of our products are made with no high fructose corn syrup - the only national brand of table syrup to do so!" I snagged up their little jug of all natural syrup and even my husband loved it! (He is a hard sell on all these changes.) But we go through a lot of syrup. We eat pancakes or french toast nearly every day! And these little jugs are more than $4 each. I don't actually budget, but I could see this was too much money going to one thing.

And so we tried Log Cabin's Original syrup. It isn't "all natural" (so its cheaper!), but it still doesn't have HFCS. It isn't as good as I'd like to feed my family, but its still an improvement over what we've had in the past.

How has eating healthier hit your budget?

Mamatography 2013 - Week 9

Day 55 - February 24

For my upcoming birthday, Elmo got me an appointment
with Rockstar Dreads for dreadlock maintenance!
This was my day for 6-7 hours Sunday.

Compartmentalized Life

You have kids and find that you lose a lot of friends. Single people that like to hang out at bars have little in common with couples with children. Add a "special needs" child and you've alienated yourself even further. There are groups... My FB Group list has gotten far too long, but I'm not ready to leave any of the groups yet...

• Natural Parents Network Volunteer Group - My largest group of closest friends with whom I truly feel I can share anything. I may or may not be understood, but I trust I will not be judged. None of these people are local to me.
• Local DS Association - Ranging from very experienced to very new parents of children with Down syndrome. This is an invaluable resource for questions about DS and local resources.
• Casual DS Moms - a FB group started by a local mom for other moms of children with DS. This is a good place to brag on our children and ask questions.
• Team B - A Solavei page, good for questions and resources associated with Solavei.
• Midtown Produce Coop - I'm new here, but its a good place to keep up with the various local coops. Volunteers are requested here. I could also use this group to find someone to pick up my Bountiful Baskets, if need be.
• N's Updates - Updates on a friend recovering from West Nile Virus. This has been going on about 9 months or so and he is finally making great strides!
• Mamatography 2013 - I co-host this project this year, so this group is obviously important!
• DiaperFreeBaby - long-running community of moms practicing Elimination Communication. This is a great place to brag on our babies, share funny pee/poop stories and ask for advice when we're having trouble.
• Local CD Group - Local group of cloth diapering moms, obviously. This group is VERY busy, supportive but also manages to harbor a lot of drama. I rarely read the group, but do occasionally connect (online) with people there. I have also attended a few events in person!
• Holistic DS Parents - Decent place to get ideas for natural treatments to common (and uncommon) problems associated with Down syndrome. I have natural parenting groups and DS parenting groups, but this is the only place that they seem to cross over a bit. There is lots of talk here about vitamins and organic foods.
• DS Playgroup for Babies - I've been to a couple of events with these local parents. I had high hopes for this group, but can't seem to make most of their events OR plan one myself that fits anyone's schedule.
• Parenting Bloggers - This one is a great place to ask technical questions or ask for some support sharing a post or giveaway.
• Town Cooks - I was just recently added to this casual little group. It is new and intended for sharing recipes, tips and ideas. I'm trying to get more into cooking, so it seems a good place to be. Plus, plenty of these folks are getting Bountiful Baskets, so sometimes a lot of people are working with the same ingredients.
• DS Moms - a larger, national, casual group of moms that have kids with DS. There used to be fun photo contests each month. I'm not even sure if they're doing those, but I haven't caught one in a while. Another place to brag / ask questions associated with Down syndrome.
• Non-religious Parents in OK - It is kind of amazing to connect with other parents that might be atheists. A lot of people are in the closet about their lack of religion, especially here in the buckle of the bible belt. Most of the posts her are just funny or WTF kind of posts. They do host play dates, but I have not yet attended one.
• Blogger Help - technical help, requesting comments or attention or sharing for a special post or giveaway, that sort of thing. Its a good place to share carnivals and to connect for guest posts / guest posting.
• DS Writers - this group is international! I'm new here, but it seems it is mostly people posting links to the blog posts that have to do with Down syndrome. I made a new friend there and think she is amazing.
• Local Unschooling Help - I'm still torn about unschooling, but just can not get behind the way or state handles school. Our students only study to pass tests now, even with the online charter schools. Its quite sad, really.
• Village Garden - I think this is a purely local group. They connect with ideas on how to do gardening locally. I'm having my first ever garden this year, so this may turn out to be a great resource!
• Urban Farming Guild - meant to meet once per month, this is a local group. Folks share links and even connect to share seeds.
• Local Granola Moms - This group merges the natural parenting and the local aspects, but without the DS aspect. Still, I was excited to have even found that combo!
• Local Babywearers - I'm impressed. This group has meetings and a lending library. I've only stopped by a meeting, but they are a helpful bunch. There is a lot of membership crossover with the Local CD Group.
• Local Gentle Parents - I've not yet made it to a play date with these people. I don't frequent their page much anymore. I can always use reminders on gentle parenting. It can be hard to keep your cool sometimes.
• EC Tulsa - I was amazed to find that there is a local group for Elimination Communication. They even have meetings! The main leader is moving on, though, so I don't know what will happen there.
• Team A - My other Solavei page, good for questions and resources associated with Solavei.
• Unschooler Interests - a place to ask a topic and get resource suggestions. An awesome resource once you are on your U/S path.
• Southeast Food Coop - I guess its similar to the midtown group above, except I'm Northwest so I never check this group.

This doesn't even cover all the compartments of my life. I haven't found a community that fits my "adult" interest, local or otherwise. And now I've had two DS communities start trying to censor what we say. It makes me want to run for the hills, so to speak. It brings back the painful pinch that I lost my best friend. I didn't lose her to accident or disease, no. She didn't move away. She just stopped talking to me. She was my best friend for over two decades, despite going through times when she was single and I was a married parent.

How do you replace that?? Other than my husband, I don't feel like I have a single local friend that has time for me and is interested in all aspects of my life. It is heartbreaking. It is so hard to make friends as a mother. As a member of so many communities, why do we often feel so very alone?

Do you have a local bestie? How do you do it?

"Mama"

Spencer had a lot of fluid in his ears and after a couple of rounds of testing (several weeks apart), it was finally decided that he needed ear tubes. Of course the fluid made it harder for him to hear us and so his speech is delayed. He would only babble vowel sounds back then. Once he got his ear tubes placed, he quickly started picking up consonant sounds.

I took Spencer for an evaluation with a Speech Therapist earlier this week. She tried several communication tests with him, but also asked me stuff. For instance, we occasionally think Spencer knows "mama" and "dada," but we haven't been sure. It hasn't been consistent enough and he won't copy us, little stinker.

I've heard Spencer saying "mama" a few times near my feet lately and this morning I'm convinced! Spencer crawled over to my feet and said "mama!" He knows my name! I am more excited than I expected to be. I think... I think this is officially his first word!! With Ronni, my mom got him to say "Tigger" as his first word. (I was less than thrilled.) Sasha's first word was definitely "Dada," and I encouraged that. But I am so excited to hear my baby communicate vocally and for his first communication to be... for me! I'm sure he'll be rattling like crazy in no time!

What was your child(ren)'s first word? Were you excited or disappointed?